


Long Way Home - A No. 6 Epilogue

by Melliebae



Category: No. 6 (Anime & Manga), No. 6 - All Media Types, No. 6 - Asano Atsuko
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Shion, Character Study, Dom/sub Undertones, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, In Character, Kissing in the Rain, M/M, Nezumi swears a lot, POV Alternating, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Rain Sex, Reunion, Romance, Smut, Switching, Top Nezumi, Top Shion, Yaoi, bottom nezumi, jealous!Nezumi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-04-05 22:51:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19050073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melliebae/pseuds/Melliebae
Summary: Another story of Shion and Nezumi reuniting.They will be pretty in-character because I took pages of sample dialogue notes from the original novels (never read the manga, tho, sorry).Random excerpt (spoilers lol):Shion was pretty sure if someone had taken his photo he would have looked absolutely stupid, standing there with the door open, wearing only thin pants and a t-shirt, gaping at the figure in front of him. The figure just stood there, shivering violently, gloved hands running up and down his arms in a desperate attempt to warm himself. His scarf blew like a flag in a hurricane. Or a scarf in a blizzard. The thing did like the thing. How does thinking work? Why was the hallucination not coming inside?"Can I.... come in?" Nezumi asked, his face shadowed by the snow and dark street. He seemed hesitant to enter despite the intense cold. Shion watched with wary eyes. He'd hallucinated many things, many times in the past couple of years. He was prone to bizarrely vivid dreams.





	1. Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> It has been about 4 years.
> 
> Also I'm sry but the chapter lengths are gonna vary between like 2 and 2 bajillion words
> 
> SO I could have sworn the dog police were mentioned in the epilogue or something somewhere but apparently it's from "The Sun in Jericho" by furiosity. My brain totally logged that as Canon haha.
> 
> HAVE SOME CUTE BUTT SMUT WITH FLUFF ✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ *:・ﾟ

"Good seeing you today, Shion!" the elderly man said as he was leaving. The man came, every single day, to read in peace. He had become a welcome companion for Shion. He came here to read every afternoon, when his days at the office or in the field had completed. Or, at least, every day that he could. Although the library was open late, as late as Shion wanted since he held the keys, there wasn't usually enough time in the day.

He made sure of it.

Shion looked up from his book, vivacious despite his physical and mental fatigue. "As always," he smiled, waved his hand, then returned his attention to the book in front of him. Hamlet this time, one that always brought back memories, of a mouse, a boy, a man, and what felt like a completely different lifetime. He had read it a million times over and it was starting to feel like a toxic relationship, an unhealthy spiral.

The cold seeped in, chilling the air in the library, curling its way around Shion's fingers until he finally sighed and closed his book. No heater. Not this time of year. It was just cold enough to be uncomfortable, but not a dangerous threat. It only became a real concern at night. Shion shoved the book in his bag and made for the door, locking it behind him, waving to a woman walking by that he vaguely recognized. Hands shoved into his pockets, he headed for home in the night chill, his breath spilling into the air in light clouds. The way to his apartment was lit gently by a string of old cave lights, his shadow dancing in and out as he passed each one. Face tucked into his coat, he watched his feet, the rain from earlier today cracking under his footsteps as it began to freeze over. He mused that the white around where his foot landed resembled his hair in the morning, after just stumbling out of bed. He chuckled a little bit. He really was sleep deprived. 

When he heard the familiar dull humming of the street generator, he know he was almost home and looked up to see no one walking on this part of town. No surprise, really. His home was just on the edge of where people typically frequented.

The warm air of his apartment filled his lungs with an uncomfortable gasp and he reached for the lamp he kept by the door, lighting it to glow on the room. It was nice to have a heater with a timer again. Modern technology was coming back to them slowly. Towers of books stood, still high, though shrinking in size every year as the library expanded and they were moved over. The walls creaked with familiarity, though Shion knew the outside had been fully remodeled to better insulate and match the new look of the town. Not many people lived in this part of town and more and more moved away, but it was here Shion wanted to stay. Some might call it lonely, but Shion called it comforting. Keeping close to the familiar.

A small black mouse squeaked up at him from near his boot. Shion smiled and offered his arm, which the mouse immediately scurried up. He stopped naming the mice eventually. The tiny furry friends of his past life had long since passed. They aren't creatures of long life spans, but this little one he was growing fond of. Sometimes he considered naming him, but like most things in his personal life, he kept putting it off.

It was strange that it was so important for him to live here. It was far from work, far from his friends, far from his mother, and he spent only about 1/5 of his time home, most of which was spent sleeping. Still, this was what he wanted. He was sure. Beloved by his community, he still heard the rumors. He knew he'd grown a bit quirky- a bit different- from others over the years. People though him to be awfully strange. He could see why. He had made some questionable, mostly harmless, yet brash decisions over the years.

The kettle whistled over the kerosene heater. He didn't remember putting it on, lost in thought, but knew it was him. When you live alone for long enough, you start to notice all of the small things you do without thinking about them. Shion made himself his cup of tea, drifting off to sleep on his couch when it was only half empty, tilted in his hand as he slept.

~~~~~

Shion frowned at the mirror. He flicked at his bangs and sighed when they brushed over his eyes. Due for a cut, he thought to himself every day, yet never brought himself to get the trim. He buttoned his brown coat, wrapped a red scarf around his neck hastily, then head out for the day. There's always a lot of work to be done, each day, and Shion welcomed it with an open mind.

Field work today. Shion saw Inukashi from a distance, holding the hand of 5 year old Shio, a nickname Shion had welcomed eagerly to eliminate any future confusion. The wind ripped the child's long hair wildly and Shion burrowed himself into his coat as he approached.

"The dogs are already out looking," Inukashi said to Shion as he approached, not bothering to look at him, kneeling down on one knee to adjust little Shio's hat and gloves, who of course fussed about it.

"It's not COLD," Shio insisted, as five year olds do.

Shion chuckled and knelt down with them to wave at Shio. Shio stuck her tongue out and folded her arms and stubbornly looked the other way, but then peeked out to make sure Shion was paying attention. 

"Be polite! Remember, we treat Shion as we would any of the dogs," Inukashi explained with gentle authority. Inukashi had grown very calm and domestic over the years, but it suited him well. Some people did talk around town, though, those that were here before the peace and knew the old Inukashi. It really had become quite the gossip mill around. Shion saw this as a sign of progress. People only worry about unimportant things when there isn't anything important going on. No one was starving or dying of lack of wide-spread access to medical care. So naturally, that gosh darned Inukashi sure has changed! seemed far more important than it might have five years back.

"And everyone else like an enemy!" Shio cheered with glee, completing the old adage. Inukashi smiled proudly, then stood to speak with Shion properly.

"Have they found anything?" Shion asked, pertaining to the dog search. A man had been reported to be seen breaking into a house yesterday and Inukashi had the dogs on the trail. This fell outside of his jurisdiction entirely, but Shion thought it was important that he be informed about the progress of the situation. This was the first crime in years for their town. Shion wouldn't show it externally, but it scared him into thinking they had made little progress after all.

"It's funny, they don't go far. I have a hunch the boys don't actually have the scent and they're just pretending because they don't want to tell me the truth," Inukashi looked thoughtful for a moment, then seemingly dismissed the thought. "They're getting old, after all. Maybe there's reason to train some of the puppies for this kind of work after all."

Shion sighed, sounding far more exhausted than he had intended. The ice from last night's freeze crackled under his feet and he shivered. "I'll be going, then. We have some agricultural experts coming in from the city to help me decide on new crops for the fall, where to plant them, and..." Shion trailed off. It really wasn't that interesting. Nothing ever was. Just work, all the time. Development work sounded a lot more fun in theory than in actual practice. "I'm off," he concluded.

Inukashi looked at him for longer than expected as if thinking about something. "Do come by for dinner," he said. "The dogs need a bath," he grinned, flashing his teeth in the strange way only he seemed to manage.

Shion smiled, mumbled something about of course, its just been so busy, then headed off to the meeting point. Inukashi didn't need to know how long it had been since Shion took a day off, or the fact that some days he invented work just to feel alive.


	2. Return

Shion came home early, meaning before the worst of the cold, but still far after the sun went down. Having passed the library keys off to the old man for the night, Shion was deep into a book in his own home, the harsh whorl of the wind and occasional tick of the heater the only sounds filling the room. Three mice slept in the crook of his elbow. He had read to them until his voice became tired and he read silently to himself instead.

His thoughts wandered frequently. He should be happy. Maybe he was happy enough. He had all the food and water and heat he needed. He had pets, books, friends, a great job, an even better reputation, and the meeting today had gone so well. There was nothing but hope for the future of the city and the success of Shion's years of hard work.

The knock on the door came harshly and urgently. He looked at his clock, 10 o'clock, and remembered there was a criminal spotted just yesterday.

Shion couldn't remember the last time he felt fear. That didn't change because of a knock at the door. He approached the door, quietly, and listened. "Are you there? It's f-fuckin cold," the voice came gruffly, shivering violently. Shion opened the door fully to an intense flurry of snow encircling a figure with dark hair, tied back, but with bangs framing his face. "Shion..." the figure whispered in awe as soon as the door was wide enough to let some of the light escape the room. He shivered again, intensely.

Shion was pretty sure if someone had taken his photo he would have looked absolutely stupid, standing there with the door open, wearing only thin pants and a t-shirt, gaping at the figure in front of him. The figure just stood there, shivering violently, gloved hands running up and down his arms in a desperate attempt to warm himself. His scarf blew like a flag in a hurricane. Or a scarf in a blizzard. The thing did like the thing. How does thinking work? Why was the hallucination not coming inside?

"Can I.... come in?" Nezumi asked, his face shadowed by the snow and dark street. He seemed hesitant to enter despite the intense cold. Shion watched with wary eyes. He'd hallucinated many things, many times in the past couple of years. He was prone to bizarrely vivid dreams.

"Yes- ah- uhm, wait, uh," Shion articulated, stepping aside and gesturing the man in, eyes glued to him as he moved. Shion closed the door, then splayed his back and palms flat against the door, breathing heavily. He noticed we was shaking now from the man he... the cold. He was shaking from the cold and cold alone.

Nezumi's lips were pursed for a moment, looking at Shion splayed up against the door, undoubtedly looking like he just saw a ghost. Shion noticed the way Nezumi raked his eyes up and down the length of Shion's body, seeming to linger longer than normal on his torso. “Somehow you've gotten more handsome,” Nezumi remarked shamelessly. Shion realized his shirt was slightly askew and pulled it down firmly. Nezumi laughed a light huh, moved into the room only a few steps, and knelt down to remove his boots that were caked in snow. 

Shion felt his heart pound in his chest as he remained frozen against the door, watching, waiting, processing. When Nezumi set his boots aside and turned to face Shion, just 3 feet away, he smiled a crooked smile that Shion found very familiar despite the time they had spent apart. His face was how he remembered, gorgeous, long lashes framing beautiful eyes set above perfect cheek bones. Just the simple raising of an eyebrow could turn Shion's legs to jelly. Shion felt his stomach rise to his throat as if dropping from an unsettling height, not sure if he wanted to vomit or cheer for joy.

"Stunned by my beauty, of course?” Nezumi teased.

Shion resisted the urge to bring a hand up to prevent his heart from departing his chest. Nezumi was oozing sexuality, giving Shion little looks and moving in a way that left Shion wanting to let him do whatever he wanted with his body. A word or his stomach or maybe his entire intestinal system was caught in his throat. His brain, though, was starting to come around.

Nezumi is here? He thought.

Nezumi took another step toward him. He stopped to fix his ponytail and remove his scarf.

Yes, Nezumi is here, he thought.

Shion watched Nezumi remove his coat, revealing his strong but toned arms- god were they always that beautiful?- and momentarily, intentionally?, flashing the dip and ripple of his stomach muscles. Shion licked his lips, hoping his heavy breathing wasn't too obvious.

Nezumi is here, but he will leave.

"Let me make you some tea!" Shion squeaked, immediately cursing himself for squeaking. He grabbed the kettle and placed it on the heater, then stared at it, determined to prove that a watched pot will, in fact, boil. Calm down, he thought. Calm down. Calm down.

When Shion looked up, Nezumi was staring at him, lips pursed again, gray eyes like a storm piercing him. His brows were furrowed in thought. Shion looked back at the kettle shyly and heard Nezumi's footsteps move across the room away from him.

"Won't you introduce me?" Nezumi asked. Shion saw Nezumi extending a finger toward a sleepy small mouse that had just woken up. The small black animal yawned and then wriggled his nose on Nezumi's finger, inspecting thoroughly before climbing aboard.

Somehow this encounter calmed Shion. His shock was wearing off, his brain near functional. "They don't have names," Shion said quietly, calmly. He was impressed with the coolness with which he spoke.

Nezumi brought the little mouse up to his face for a proper hello before letting him back down on the couch, after which all three mice then scurried away like ecstatic fan girls. "Mice are wonderful companions, but they don't live very long, do they?" Nezumi said tiredly, as if he hadn't slept in a long, long time. He plopped onto the couch, rubbed his eyes. They were silent for a moment, then the kettle whistled. Shion brought the kettle to his little tea table. His back was to Nezumi as he tried to remember: how does Nezumi like his tea? Only a finger pinch of sugar, no milk. Oh, we didn't have milk, right? Did we ever even have tea? It was all so long ago.

Once he had contemplated sufficiently, he passed Nezumi his mug and sat beside him, tucking his knees up to his chin and sipping at the mug. Shion felt an intense pang of realization as Nezumi took the first few sips of his tea. Wait, did he just...

"Very good, your majesty" Nezumi said quietly. "Milk?" He asked.

"Mm," Shion replied. The wind howled by outside, the heater clicked once, twice, and no one said anything. Shion ran through a quick list of all of the stupid things he definitely shouldn't say, which was any word he had ever learned at any point in his life. 

They sat that way for what felt like years. When Nezumi's breath softened beside him, he glanced over to see Nezumi had fallen asleep with the mug in his hands, soothed by the knowledge that he would be out for hours.

Good, Shion thought. Nezumi could get some proper sleep and Shion had some time to think. Just a bit of powder to help him. Shion took the mug from Nezumi's hands and set it down on the table beside his.

Just a teeny bit of powder.

Shion saw the way Nezumi was out cold, deeply asleep. And that was when it dawned on him. He had drugged Nezumi.

Had he really drugged Nezumi? It was just light sleeping pills, just melatonin basically, just a light sedative, just a mild anti-psychotic. Hardly a drug! But, oh my god he DRUGGED HIM?

Shion started to pace the room, back and forth, back and forth. He really hadn't meant it. Well, he definitely did it on purpose, but he didn't, like, _mean_ it.


	3. The skippable mini-chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friends, something strange came over me. This chapter is a short song tribute or something I really don't know?? I hate song fic and avoid it like the plague so I don't even know what this is.
> 
> If you hate it, I promise it's the only time I'll ever do you like this. If you love it, GREAT!
> 
> Song: Long Way Home (*NUDGE NUDGE*) by Jukebox the Ghost

Once Shion calmed down and accepted that, yes, he did drug Nezumi, and had a quick cry about Nezumi's arrival and Shion's subsequent mental breakdown, he went about his night as normal. Normal enough. He added some of the same powder to his tea and downed the rest swiftly. After, he picked up one of the older, less appreciated books, opened the yellowed pages, and nuzzled his nose in, smelling hard. He loved this smell. It calmed him. Brought back fond memories.

Moving Nezumi just slightly, Shion adjusted the futon-couch to lie flat. After standing and contemplating for a bit, he laid behind Nezumi. Shion gently removed his hair tie, then weaved a hand gently in his hair. The feeling of his hair always reminded him of threading his fingers through smooth tinsel as a child, though this had a much more unique shimmer than tinsel. He managed to doze for a while, waking in a mild drug-induced daze feeling impossibly warm. In half consciousness, Shion weighed the pros and cons of removing his clothes, settling finally on removing all of them, but putting himself under a light sheet, with Nezumi still above the sheet. This seemed decent to his half-asleep mind.

With that, Shion resumed his place next to Nezumi, a hand gently woven in his hair once more.

~~~~~

Shion had a fond memory with Nezumi that came back to him often. Sometimes as a nostalgic moment in the middle of his day, this time in a dream. It seemed like many years ago.

On that night, long ago, they walked along the streets that they used to know. Life was never simple for them, but this was before things became really complicated, before Shion had any inkling of a desire to team up with Nezumi and take down the city. It was a hot summer night, the air sticky from a rain earlier in the day. A gentle breeze was blowing, cooling them steadily. There was that smell, Shion remembered, that smell of rain everyone can identify but no one remembers the name of. At least, he never remembered the name of.

“Let's take it slow,” Nezumi had said, slowing his pace. Shion had looked at him quizzically, not sure what exactly he meant. “Let's take the long way home.”

Shion nodded. Nezumi led the way, taking them through narrow streets he seemed to know well, but Shion had never seen. After some minutes of silent following, they entered what seemed like an old park. It was the depth of the night, but the moon was full, lighting their way. Shion remembered thinking the moon was exceptionally bright, one of those super moons people who were into star gazing talked about. Being out with Nezumi like this, the moon lighting up his beautiful skin in a way otherwise impossible at night, he understood the appeal. Nezumi moved like a gentle assassin through the shadows, beckoned to some unknown destination. He remembered looking up at the sky, the blinding light pollution of No. 6 colliding with the overwhelming shine of the moon, the line between them hard to see. Shion remembered looking down at a puddle reflecting the moon. He remembered how, when he dipped his toe into its pearlescent vat, the moon rippled beneath his feet. 

“Do you think, one day further down the road, if I passed by you on a busy street... would you remember me?” Shion had asked that night, softly. Nezumi snorted. He always did that when he asked honest questions. He remembered, almost fondly, how stupid Nezumi had always made him feel back then, in their younger days.

“I think, one day further down the road, you need to grow some brains or your own stupidity will get you killed,” Nezumi had said sarcastically. Shion remembered how that stung. But also, he remembered how defensive Nezumi was, how uncomfortable the question had made him, like there was more he wanted to say but just couldn't open himself to do so.

“Nezumi, it isn't healthy to keep everything bottled inside yourself,” Shion had said softly. He remembered Nezumi paused, then gave him a tch. The conversation had ended then.

He had wanted to tell Nezumi that night what he thought would happen if he didn't let someone in. One day down the road he'd find everything he'd kept inside. He'd feel like he was caught beneath the ocean, searching for a sign of life. He regretted, so many years later, never telling this to Nezumi. Maybe, just maybe if he prompted him, he might have opened up to him that night.

It's strange, Shion thought in his half-dream, how you can never know who's going to stay with you and who will leave.  
Do you remember, Nezumi?  
Do you remember me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's be entirely clear here. No, I don't picture Shion or Nezumi singing this. Ever. I was just listening to this song while writing and I was having some FEELings that day and shit just got out of hand.
> 
> I named the fic this because I didn't know what to name it. 
> 
> Look my magic (∩°‿°)⊃━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ


	4. Touching (Smut Pt. 1)

When Shion woke, his head was much more clear. Gently, he played with Nezumi's hair. Shion wondered passively if this was the first time he'd ever played freely with Nezumi's hair out of its ponytail. Shion felt heat rise in his groin as he remembered the many times he saw Nezumi after a shower, hair down with a measly towel tied dangerously around his waist.

“I know you're awake,” Nezumi said factually, startling Shion. Though, today, Shion wouldn't lose his composure so easily. Remain confident, Shion told himself.

“Good,” Shion said equally as factually, lightly tightening his grip on Nezumi's hair. It was exciting being in bed with Nezumi like this. It didn't feel at all unnatural. They had shared a bed much this same way the very night they met and for months when they lived together, here in this same small home.

“Do you think I'll hurt you?” Nezumi asked with a hint of venom.

“No,” Shion said quickly. It wasn't a lie. “Do you think I would hurt you?”

“Yes,” Nezumi said, then his voice softened on a chuckle. “You did drug me.”

Shion gasped, felt his cheeks blush, and was eternally grateful Nezumi couldn't see his face. “I didn meen u...” he said into the pillow, the confidence he worked up already fading. 

There was a silence. Shion massaged Nezumi's scalp with the pads of fingers.

“Why did you come?” Shion pulled away slightly to ask his pillow, more meek than he had wanted.

“I don't know,” Nezumi sighed. Shion deflated. Not the answer he had hoped for.

Shion was surprised by the intense heat burning within him. He always knew Nezumi wanted him physically. Shion had wanted him, too, but before, he had just been so... pure, so unsure, so timid. All things his job these past few years had readily changed. He wanted to know, when Nezumi pictured himself fucking Shion, how did he like it? How did he take him? Shion pulled Nezumi's hair roughly, pulling his head back slightly, ghosting his lips close to Nezumi's ear. “Are you afraid I've changed?” he asked in a lusty whisper.

Shion could have sworn he felt Nezumi shiver. “Yes,” Nezumi growled, fighting Shion's grip slightly.

“What would you say if I told you I've changed into a completely different person?” Shion whispered, much more in control of his voice this time. Though his tone did noticeably falter to a raspy crack in the middle of the question. He noticed it sounded rather... sexy.

Nezumi didn't answer him. Shion wondered what he was thinking. Was he thinking about where he wanted to touch him? How the Shion he wanted wasn't here anymore?

Shion's other hand caressed Nezumi's shoulder. He heard the other man inhale sharply and felt his entire body tense. Shion shyly stroked his arm before brushing to his chest, reaching under his shirt. Shion felt Nezumi's breaths becoming labored as he relaxed into his touches. He avoided his nipples and stomach muscles, feeling just as shy as he would have years ago. But oh, the things he had imagined doing with this man. When he felt him wiggle his hips against him and let out a guttural groan, he was sure Nezumi could feel his growing erection against his ass.

Be confident, Shion thought, squeezing his eyes shut.

Nezumi pressed his full body back into Shion, paying extra attention to roll his hips over Shion's groin. “Take off your pants, Shion,” he commanded softly.

Confidence, confidence, he thought, searching for what to say, what to do. Then he remembered. “Take them off for me,” Shion purred into Nezumi's ear, then released his grip in his hair.

Nezumi moved quickly and with purpose. Shion happily welcomed him under the sheets. He felt Nezumi attempt to grab the hem of his pants, only to meet his bare hips instead. Nezumi grabbed a fistful of his naked hips and hissed through his teeth. Shion shivered at the feeling of Nezumi's hands on his bare hips, so close to his cock.

“They're already off,” Nezumi growled, voice low like a beast. Shion's cock jolted. His voice had a new tone to it that Shion immediately loved. This was it. This was what Nezumi sounded like when he wanted to fuck.

Shion felt Nezumi's hands ghost over his hips, down his legs, then back up the insides of his hips. Shion heard himself moan, but didn't remember letting any sounds roll out of his mouth. Nezumi's lips were on him, moving up his torso, leaving long kisses on his neck. He moved on top of him, skillfully removing his own clothing bit by bit as Shion squirmed under a warm tongue flicking over his nipples. 

Shion clawed at Nezumi's last piece of clothing, his shirt, and Nezumi moved back to throw it over his head, licking his lips and looking hungrily down at Shion's naked body before him. Shion's breath hitched as Nezumi propped himself between his legs and brought him in for a sloppy kiss. Shion felt Nezumi's arms go under him and he blushed when Nezumi's hard cock slid against his own. 

Just like that, he was in Nezumi's arms again.

Shion welcomed Nezumi's kiss, the first in 4 long years. He leaned up to flick his tongue past Nezumi's teeth. He moaned when a more experienced tongue flicked back, moving his body over his to deepen the kiss, Nezumi thrusting his wet tongue into his mouth. Their cocks slid clumsily against each other. Nezumi pulled from the kiss, his tongue lingering, and Shion stroked his tongue along his in the open space between their mouths. The sloppy smacking of their tongues thrilled him.

Shion tried to follow as Nezumi pulled away from him, but his head fell back onto the bed as Nezumi pulled too far. Shion whimpered, his arms slipping from Nezumi's back. 

“As I thought, you're still the same Shion. A whiny airhead,” Nezumi said. Shion thought, in his sex-crazed haze, that Nezumi had a point. In Nezumi's arms, he felt like the Shion he used to be. Hopeful, innocent, and protected. Safe in those strong arms and happy to share everything he was. Maybe he hadn't changed, just had more protective layers.

“C'mere,” Nezumi chided gently, helping Shion up to join him on his knees. Shion's cheeks went hot. He felt far more exposed on his knees like this, stance matching Nezumi's, his body on full display in the open air. “I really thought mine would be bigger,” Nezumi chuckled. “Yours is fuckin' beautiful...”

Shion held his breath as Nezumi slid his hand down both of their lengths. When his breath returned to him, it was on a loud, lusty moan. He couldn't help but feel stupid at how very feminine it sounded and his hand reflexively covered his mouth. Nezumi grabbed his wrist and yanked it away. “Fuck, Shion, let me hear you,” he growled, moving his hips with the strokes of his hand on their cocks. Shion's hands grasped Nezumi's shoulders, unable to remain upright on his own.

“Nezumi...” he moaned, the feeling of a hard, smooth shaft stroking against his too hot, too good.

“Shion...” Nezumi's breathing was labored, his voice sticky with sex. “Look.”

Shion followed Nezumi's gaze. They were about the same size, only Nezumi was uncircumcised, making him appear slightly larger. By far, though, Shion's was thicker. Shion trembled, watching as the most private, sensitive parts of their bodies rubbed together. The tips were reddened from stimulation. Nezumi's foreskin was stroking against him gently. They were visibly wet, emerging with sopping sounds through the crevice of Nezumi's stroking hand. Shion realized he was bucking his hips into the sensation without thinking, then increased his efforts, watching the scene before him and gripping shoulders violently, his nails digging in. 

“Fuckin' beautiful...” Nezumi groaned, then looked up at Shion. He was immediately locked into that stare by those stormy gray eyes. Shion choked back a needy sob. Overstimulated, it sounded more like a violent hiccup. He found Nezumi, his Nezumi. The one he had longed for, the one that no one else had ever known. And now, we was rubbing his cock all over him. Shion could see in those eyes that this man was ready to give him his heart just for the chance to take him apart.

So simply, Shion's heart was shattered. Every wall he had built up over the years was gone for this man. He was hopelessly, foolishly in love again, with a selfish bastard named Nezumi.

Nezumi growled deep in his throat and increased his efforts. Shion allowed his lover to sweep him into a passionate kiss that left him barely able to breathe. Their thrusts were erratic and neither of them cared, just needed the touch, the friction, anything, everything. Shion felt the heat pool within him and his entire body shook with the effort of his orgasm. Seeing him finish seemed to send Nezumi over as well, and soon they were thrusting softly, finishing themselves. Nezumi sucked hard on his shoulder and used their combined cum for one last, agonizing stroke that made them both tremble.

Nezumi released his grip, gazing into Shion's eyes as he took him by the arm. He let himself be laid down on the bed, next to Nezumi, on their backs. 

Shion's head was swimming. Not just because of the amazing orgasm, but everything. He was so in love. Every single thing Nezumi did and said drove him absolutely insane. Shion squeezed his eyes shut, grabbed the sheets at his sides, and took a deep breath. 

After a moment, he turned his head to glance at Nezumi. What face would he be making? Was he equally dumbstruck? Nezumi's hand was up between their heads, palm up. His face was calm, fixed on the ceiling. He seemed relaxed, his breath deep and slow. Stupid. Of course not. Nezumi does this all the time, he berated himself. 

Shion turned on his side to face him and placed his hand in his. He started stroking his fingers gently, running along, between, and over the palm of his hand. The tingle against his fingers reached all the way down to his groin. 

Eventually, Nezumi turned to face him, his hair pooling around his face. Gorgeous, Shion thought. Like a gray angel. He saw Nezumi smile. An actual smile. Then it disappeared and Nezumi's eyes closed.

They fell asleep like that, gently holding hands.


	5. Visitor

Nezumi opened his eyes with urgency, sitting up in bed ready for action. Something had woken him. Then, again, there was a loud noise. He glanced at Shion, still asleep, his white hair falling all around him like fresh snow, a few strands blowing gently from his breath.

The bang came again, this time with a voice. It was clear this time that the sound was someone pounding on the door. The voice was too muffled to make out. Nezumi crouched down to the floor, pulling on his pants and getting his knife from the pocket. He crept his way around the bed-side coffee table.

The next bang was the loudest, hardest, and most obnoxious. The person on the other side knocked fifteen times without stop. The voice was louder now, and Nezumi could clearly hear a whiny “Shiiiiiiooonnn!”. Nezumi sighed. Stupid. As he heard Shion stir in bed, he sheathed his knife and slipped it back in his pocket.

Nezumi watched the beautiful creature wake from slumber. Shion sat up, his pink scar entirely visible in his nudity. He groaned, wiped the sleep off his face, and mumbled “mf comin” before putting his clothes on.

Another bang, bang, bang, bang, bang...

“Can you get the fucking door already?” Nezumi barked and Shion jumped, dropped his pants to the floor as if struck by a stun baton. He looked like he was seeing a ghost. What was there to be surprised about? It wasn't like he just climbed in through the window last night. Did he not remember rubbing cocks mere hours ago?

Stupid Shion.

The platinum blond shook his head. He watched with specific interest as Shion traipsed across the room, now donned in pajamas that did little to hide the sway of his hips. Shion always had this particular way of walking that... interested him.

The clock read noon. Nezumi huffed a little to himself. They had slept through a huge portion of the day already. Whatever.

Shion threw open the door and was immediately greeted by wide, welcoming arms. One of the attached hands was holding a basket. “Shiiiiioon! You didn't show up for work today-- so unlike you!-- so I assumed you were sick. I brought you food!! It's Tuesday. Tuuuuesday~! It's our every Tuesday food day!”

Nezumi wanted to punch something. Maybe the wall, maybe the man's face, maybe himself, and maybe even Shion. He wasn't quite sure. But he knew he hated this guy already. He was like Shion on his worst day. Exhausting. Obnoxious.

Nezumi was sitting on the floor near the futon, hoping he was blended into his background as much as possible. If necessary, he was prepared for an attack should the need arise.

As the two pulled away from their admittedly warm embrace, Nezumi noticed three specific things.

One, he knew exactly what he wanted to punch. This pretty man's face.

Two, Shion was beaming with laughter. The look on his face when he looked at this stranger, this intruder, this terrible and hideous beast was so genuine and light. So pure. There was no way this man had ever or would ever cause Shion any pain or tears. The thought of that began to devour Nezumi from within, racking him with guilt.

Three, worst of all, the guy looked _good_. Really good. He was glowing, he was funny (apparently) and he was-- fuck if he wanted to admit it-- but he was sexy. He had dark hair not quite as long as his own, drawn back into a ponytail. He had dark brown eyes that almost appeared a dark gray, and he was a bit toned. Yet, he was much shorter, had some bobbypins in on one side of his hair to hold back loose strands, and his eyes lit up just like Shion's. Simultaneously, Shion had found a friend that both replaced Nezumi and also fit the criteria for someone he would absolutely fuck the _shit_ out of.

Damn. That was interesting.

The two had been chatting away, this intruder lightly holding onto Shion's forearm, seemingly unwilling to let go. There was something else that was similar about him and this man. The fact that, in this small cabin-like room, he managed to go unnoticed all these minutes of chatter. The clock read 12:06.

It was the way he looked at Shion. He looked at Shion that same way that Shion made Nezumi _feel_ , like there was nothing else in the room. And if there was, then it could fuck off. Nezumi was fuming. He was pissed. He'd been replaced.

“Shion, I thought you would be sick but look at you! You are just glowing today!” the intruder twirled Shion around on his arm. He happily obliged, practically dancing with the man, laughing all the way. 

Shion seemed genuine, but there was a bit of a hesitance. The affection seemed to be moving mostly in one direction. Nezumi snorted. It was because he was in the room, wasn't it? Shion, the little slut that he had become, felt guilty.

They both turned to look at Nezumi then, simultaneously, the intruder's hand falling away from Shion's. His face looked like death, like all of the life drained out of him. Shion, on the other hand, was entirely unaffected, only a bit curious. Nezumi realized then that he must have snorted aloud during his internal rage session.

The color returned to the intruder's face and Nezumi grinned wide, because the only color returning was a deep shade of red. He was embarrassed. Yeah, he knew who the fuck Nezumi was. How could he not?

“He came back to you...” the man breathed, looking down at his now fidgeting hands. Nezumi smiled more widely, practically beaming. _That's right,_ he thought. _I'm fuckin' irreplaceable._

The man placed the basket of food on the floor beside his feet. He looked severely hurt. Nezumi loved it. Loved every bit of it. It gave him such a thrill. No one-- not even this gorgeous little twink version of himself-- could replace him. Not for Shion. 

Nezumi's smile disappeared when the man placed a hand on Shion's shoulder before leaving. Nezumi couldn't hear what the man said, but it made Shion close his eyes and smile lightly. Shion said something back, softly, no more than two or three words.

The man left without another word. Nezumi couldn't decide why he was so angry, why he felt so utterly betrayed. How many had he lain with? He couldn't count, men, women, it was a lot. So what if Shion had a flirt or even a fling around?

But then, he thought, what if that man had been with Shion in ways unknown to him? That thought made his blood boil. Shion was fidgeting his feet, alternating between staring at them and glancing quickly at Nezumi to gauge his reaction. 

He looked guilty as sin.


	6. Touching Again (Smut Pt. 2)

Nezumi noticed how pink Shion's cheeks were. He was embarrassed. He bent on one knee to the floor and opened the basket to see what waited inside. There was no reaction on his face as he rummaged through, seemingly just trying to look busy.

He was angry, sure, but Shion was fucking beautiful. All the goddamn time. His pink lips were pursed together, his soft hands picking through the basket with a tenderness otherwise unknown to Nezumi. What would he like, he wondered? Would he like to get fucked slow and deep, agonizingly stretched on Nezumi again and again?

“I'm, uh...” Shion began, picking up the basket and bringing it over to them. “Do you want something to eat, Nezumi?” The futon was still lain out like a bed and Shion sat on the edge of it, beside Nezumi, still on the floor.

Would Shion react if he teased his hole with just the tip of his moistened cock? How would he cry out when he suddenly slipped deep inside, buried himself completely in his warm walls?

“That was my friend, Shinya. He, uhm, forgive him. He hasn't always heard the best things about you,” Shion explained shyly, pulling some grapes out of the basket and placing them on the table. 

When he was fucked fast and held roughly, would he squirm away or buck his hips for more?

Shion grabbed just one grape and popped it into his mouth. “These are quite good,” Shion said enthusiastically. “Shinya always finds the best stuff!”

Nezumi took a grape, too. He popped the grape in his mouth, biting down only once, before sitting on the edge of the bed. He grabbed Shion's neck with both hands and pulled him in for a kiss. He slipped the grape into Shion's mouth, sliding it between their tongues before biting his bottom lip, hard.

Shion didn't wince in pain. He seemed to welcome it, passion in his eyes as he pulled away. Nezumi growled low in his throat as Shion swallowed the grape, then placed a fresh grape between his teeth.

Nezumi took the hint. He grabbed the grape roughly with his teeth, clacking them against his lover's. He quickly chewed and swallowed before pushing Shion down onto the bed, hovering over him and fucking his mouth with his tongue. Shion sighed helplessly as Nezumi licked his tongue across the roof of his mouth.

“So, love,” he began sweetly, poised suggestively over Shion despite their clothes being in the way. “Who the fuck was that?” he demanded, practically spitting venom with his words.

“He's my...” Shion inhaled, exhaled. Gained composure. “He's my boyfriend... I guess...”

Nezumi gritted his teeth, pulled Shion's hair hard. Shion whimpered, but didn't dare fight it. “So he has seen you like this?” Nezumi seethed.

“No,” Shion answered quickly, then averted his gaze. “...Yes...” Nezumi tightened his hold just slightly, squinted his eyes with skepticism. “We were close and emotionally intimate. There were many nights spent together and...” Shion's eyes started to water. Nezumi bit his tongue, waiting. He let go of Shion's hair, moved to lie beside him. Shion turned to face him as well.

“He just...” Shion's voice broke. The tears streamed freely down his face now. “He loved me so much and I... I just... I couldn't!” Shion explained through sobs. Nezumi was a bit taken aback by this, not entirely sure how to proceed. When Shion's sobs seemed to only grow stronger, his hands covering the side of his face not half-buried in the pillow, Nezumi wrapped an arm around him and scooted closer.

“Shhhh,” he soothed. Why did he soothe? He was still pissed, a bit confused, but seeing Shion like this tore his heart into pieces. He knew these tears weren't for that Shinya guy, but instead...

“I couldn't let anyone touch me,” Shion said into his hands, then moved them down. Nezumi could feel his heart breaking all over again when he looked into those eyes. Shion's face was streaked with tears, his eyes bulged red and hair stuck to his face. Snot was leaking from his nose slightly and he has having trouble keeping his breath even. “I waited, miserably, for you to return. I promised, and I was foolish. I was nothing but a young, stupid boy, recklessly in love with a man that had no interest. And I decided to wait for that man, such a fool. So young...” he stopped again when it became too much, more tears spilling from his eyes.

Nezumi hated himself, but all he could think about with any certainty was how beautiful Shion looked with the light shining in on him, illuminating the scar on his face, his tears glistening in the streak of afternoon sun.

“I think I was going mad before you came. I would dream, hallucinate, obsess...”

“I'm irresistible,” Nezumi stated, shrugging his shoulder. He laughed when Shion kicked him in the shin. Hard. It actually really fucking hurt. “Hey, I would do all of those things, too...” he cooed softly, holding Shion close to him. He smirked when the younger man leaned into him, rubbing his snotty tears all over his chest with no shame.

It really shattered him, but he refused to let it show. Imagining the years of Shion living his life, waiting, unable to touch or love another person. To think, the years had been lonely for him as well, but distinctly punctuated by one-night stands up until the last year of it. He became so caught up in his internal anguish over whether to return to Shion that he couldn't hold anyone. This served only to fan the flames of loneliness. He couldn't imagine being completely alone for all of that time. But Shion was. He was loyal, loving, waiting. It shamed him.

It shamed him miserably and there was not a thing he could do to take it all back.

But Nezumi know well that there were two ways to get rid of any problem: 

You could either brutally murder it away. He figured that wasn't even close to the proper solution here. It had a high probability of not solving the problem.

Or, you could fuck the problem away. He spent years doing that, and now it was Shion's turn.

Shion's breath was even now. After wiping his snot and tears away with a loose t-shirt and tossing it on the bed behind him, he looked up at Nezumi from his bare chest. Nezumi felt his cock twitch, already hard. Shion's eyes were so gorgeous they seemed to almost twinkle up at him. His lips looked a bit sticky from crying and his nose was a light pink.

Nezumi held partners. But this? This was exhilarating. He was overcome with an absolute _need_ to fuck Shion. He would fuck him so senseless that Shion could never even consider lying with another man. He took a hard fistful of Shion's ass and reveled in the squish of it. Shion blinked at him and rolled his ass into his hand. Nezumi moved to instead take two greedy fistfuls and kissed him as he kneaded and gripped him through his thin pants.

Nezumi was a dangerous man when he wanted something.

“Get on your knees,” Nezumi commanded suddenly. Shion's eyes went wide. Nezumi chuckled as Shion moved quickly to kneel on the floor next to the bed. “No you airhead. On the bed. With me.”

Shion's cheeks went pink once again as he scrambled back up onto the bed. He waited on his knees in front of him.

Nezumi slowly removed his shirt, ghosting his fingers up his sides as he went. Shion shivered. He slowly moved the waist of his lover's already ill-fitting pajama pants below Shion's aching cock and allowed them to fall to his knees. He feathered his hands past Shion's hips and clutched Shion's ass once more. He growled deep in his throat at the feel of Shion's smooth, bare skin in his palms.

Nezumi took a moment to rake his eyes top to bottom, taking in the view. Shion was now fully exposed to him in broad daylight. His pink scar swirled up the curves of his body, supple curves, possibly the sexiest he'd ever seen. Nezumi licked his lips in approval.

Then, Nezumi moved behind him, kissing along his neck and wrapping his hand around to stroke Shion's length. Gently, he nuzzled his own erection between Shion's thighs, gently thrusting into them and spreading his precum on his lover. Shion arched his back delicately against him.

When it became too little friction, Nezumi pushed Shion down until his chest was flush with the pillow, his ass in the air. The sight of Shion's pinkish-brown, puckered opening made Nezumi inhale sharply. It pulsed slightly as Shion adjusted, seemingly uncomfortable under Nezumi's gaze.

Without thinking, Nezumi leaned forward. Holding his cheeks open with his thumbs, he licked the length of his opening.

“Oh!” Shion squealed, his body tensing at the unexpected contact. All the way from balls to crack. He flattened his tongue, making sure to give as much wet sensation to the slow drag across Shion's sensitive crevice. 

He licked across three more times before Shion allowed himself to exhale long and hard. He saw the muscles loosen on that exhale and Nezumi immediately speared his tongue into the temporarily relaxed sphincter, twisting it in as far as he could manage. It was a tight fit for sure. Shion mewled and wiggled his hips.

Well, there was certainly a first time for everything. The idea of this had always been unappealing at best, but this? Nezumi realized he could happily eat Shion's ass all fucking day. He brought his lips together, sucking at the puckered hole before sticking the tip of his tongue back inside. Though, no matter how hard he worked, he couldn't quite get it in there.

Nezumi sighed and, reluctantly, pulled away. Shion turned his head back to look at him, confused and dazed.

“Don't you dare move,” Nezumi rumbled. He stumbled quickly to the small bag he had brought with him, then returned with a small bottle of lube and a condom.

“You did NOT bring those with you,” Shion exclaimed, still in his same position as commanded. Nezumi bit his lip. He stared at Shion with his ass in the air, pants at his knees, and swiftly removed his own pants so they could be naked together.

“You should be thankful,” Nezumi chided, settling himself back in front of his ass. He uncapped the lube, spread it onto his right ring finger. Teasingly, he rubbed against the opening. “I don't afford everyone such luxuries,” he breathed, teasing in light circles. Timing with an exhale once more, Nezumi slid his finger deep inside. Shion was silent, save for a whimper. He knew it hurt him, but also knew it would soon pass. He didn't bother to check with him, just added a bit more lube and finger fucked him slowly.

He added a second finger and curled his fingers a few times, looking for the perfect spot. “Ah!” Shion exclaimed, bucking his hips away and them immediately towards the feeling, searching for more. Found it. As he fucked him and added a third finger, Nezumi took care to poke and rub that spot as much as possible. He moved his free hand to stroke Shion's cock lazily, distracting him from the burn of that first stretch.

Shion's legs were quivering intensely, his back heaving up and down from the effort of his deep, erratic breaths. “Nezumi...” he whined. 

Nezumi removed his fingers and speared his tongue inside, this time as far as his tongue could reach. He swirled it around with great effort. To his disappointment, he couldn't reach the spot, but Shion seemed to be enjoying himself anyway. Shion was thrusting back against him, riding his tongue and smothering his face between his ass cheeks without shame.

Nezumi wondered what his face looked like. His moans were dirty, open-mouthed. Nezumi pulled away and crawled beside his lover. Shion immediately collapsed onto his side, facing Nezumi. He looked absolutely wrecked. His eyes were entirely unfocused. His hair clung to his forehead where he had begun to sweat. There was a bit of drool leaking from his parted lips as he struggled to catch his breath. Yeah, he liked it. He liked it a lot.

Shion met his eyes. Nezumi was always watching Shion, strictly observing, but now, he allowed himself to just gaze back. He allowed himself to be gazed into and then gaze right back. The soft, innocent qualities of Shion's face took his breath away.

Nezumi was caught off guard.

Shion in one quick move pushed him down onto his back and straddled him. He started to grind his hips down, slowly, making sensual circles. Forward and back, over and over against Nezumi's cock, rubbing him between his ass. It was a bit sticky, not enough lube.

As if Shion could read minds, he reached for the bottle of lube and applied a copious amount between his ass cheeks. Then he resumed, sliding along Nezumi's shaft.

Nezumi growled and grabbed Shion by his wrists, pinning them fiercely with one hand behind his back. “Do you get a thrill from driving me out of my fucking mind?” he said deep his throat. He sounded like an animal, dangerous. With his free hand, he grabbed the t-shirt Shion had used earlier and tied his hands together behind his back. Shion squirmed against the restraint behind his back, only creating a more frantic grind against Nezumi in the process. Nezumi gripped his hips tightly when he seemingly attempted to wiggle away, sliding himself deliciously between his wet flesh once more.

Shion still struggled against the ties, against the grip on his hips, seemingly seeking more from his lover. Nezumi buried his fingers and tugged on his hair, a thing he did possibly a bit too often, to hold his head still. Nezumi slanted his eyes and gave Shion a cold stare, intentionally zero expression on his face. Shion pulled weakly against his tied hands, though seemed to have mostly given up on actually breaking free. He stared back into Nezumi hard, determined. Completely unafraid.

“I missed you so much, Nezumi...” he breathed, exhale shaky. Nezumi tripped over himself internally, but continued only with a cold stare and tightened his grip. “Nezumi... please...” he was begging now. Pleading. “Touch me. Somewhere. Anywhere...”

Nezumi used one hand to line him up with his cock. Before allowing him to sink down, he locked onto Shion's face to see the pain as he penetrated. He was a bit of a sadistic bastard. Always had been.

“Take it all, Nezumi,” Shion rocked against the tip of his cock, up on his knees, using the grip in his hair for leverage. “Use my body,” he said on a needy moan. 

Nezumi couldn't take it anymore. He slid in firm, full, all the way to the hilt. As he went, he angled himself to stroke Shion's prostate with the length of his entire shaft. “Shion,” he whispered. Without waiting, he immediately removed himself, then buried himself firmly back inside his pale lover repeatedly, fucking him rough. Hard. But agonizingly slow. “Shion...” he whispered again, having forgotten all other words and things in the world. Each time he entered, he pressed his hips firmly against Shion's, spearing deeply. With each cry from Shion, he rewarded him with an even harsher thrust, desperate to know how much Shion could handle, how much pain he could...

“Nezu... ne... stop... stop!” Shion cried with fear in his voice. 

He sounded quite serious. Nezumi looked in his teary eyes, then released the ties on his wrists. Shion looked tortured and overwhelmed by the immediate intensity Nezumi had presented him with.

Fuck, why did he have to be like this? There had always been a darkness within him, a need to possess and take, and Shion brought it out in him so easily. Why did he have to make Shion's experience like this, just for himself? Couldn't they just have a good time? He cursed himself, careful to only hold a cold expression as he stared into Shion's eyes. He always had to either take it too far or not nearly far enough whenever it came to Shion.

Shion, with his free hands, pinned him. Nezumi's wrists burned from the force of it and he struggled against him, surprised to find he actually could not easily escape this strong hold. It would have taken considerable effort on his part. Shion had grown a lot stronger. Shion slammed himself onto his cock, riding him violently. Nezumi was in a lot of pain. It fucking hurt. He felt like his dick would break in half, but it was good, so good. He thought how, if it hurt him, then surely it hurt Shion even more.

In that moment, Nezumi was sure he could never sleep with another person ever again. Shion was too breathtaking, absolutely perfect. There would be no comparison. The way he parted his lips, his pink tongue peeking out to wet them. The way he pulled back when speared into, yet slammed back against him. The way he cried, whined, gasped, and pleaded for everything that was Nezumi, absolutely all of him, flaws included. It did things to him. Things he couldn't explain, but could try to express by fucking his brains out.

Shion was crying and shaking. He yelped as he speared himself deeply, over and over. This, he thought, must have been the frustration, need, and self-loathing of the last few years all bottled up, finally ready for release. Nezumi pushed up with his hips to meet his thrusts three short times, then immediately came deep inside of his lover. His entire body spasmed, trembled. It wasn't like him to come so early, but he fully embraced the Earth-shattering feeling of filling his sweet lover. 

Shion let go of his wrists and he immediately leaned up, choking out his orgasm as he clung to Shion's shoulders. He noticed a single tear land on Shion's shoulder with no logical explanation other than it being his own.

After a few moments, Nezumi opened his eyes and pulled back just enough to see Shion's face. He looked flustered, not quite yet spent, but resigned to their little adventure having come to an end.

Nezumi wasn't finished yet, not like this. He pulled himself from his lover, wincing a bit from over-sensitivity. He pushed Shion down onto his back once more and sucked his cock, hard. It didn't take long at all. Shion gently caressed Nezumi's hair. Nezumi took him deep into his throat and hummed. Shion laid back, moaned, and came deep into his throat, thrusting his hips gently. Only Shion, Nezumi thought, could have such a delicate, sweet orgasm while being deep throated. Nezumi happily swallowed all that he had to offer.

Nezumi held Shion in his arms. As their legs tangled lazily, he took a deep inhale of Shion's hair. One of his favorite smells in this entire world.

“A lot of practice, huh?” Shion commented with no jealousy. “You're very good.”

Nezumi felt the tears well in his eyes. He felt the tightness in his chest, the regret from their goodbye. The years-- all the fucking years-- and he began to sob uncontrollably into Shion's hair. He couldn't stop it from coming. It poured out of him all at once, like a sudden rain in the heat of the tropics. When had he ever cried like this? He couldn't remember. His entire body heaved with the effort of his sobs, shaking violently.

Shion didn't move. At all. A single muscle. Or, if he did, Nezumi didn't notice over his nasty heaving.

When he dared to grab Shion's gaze, he only looked confused. A bit startled, even. Shion began to gently stroke his hair, causing another series of sobs to wrack his entire body. He held onto the blond tightly, holding him as gently and completely as he could.

Shion didn't know and it pained him. That was a first for Shion, he was sure, but it was a first for him as well.

Shion didn't know it was the first time Nezumi ever made love. 

He didn't know how much he loved him or how many times he fucked other people when he didn't really want to do it. How much it became a habit, a coping mechanism. As his sobs lessened, he noticed he was gently stroking Shion's hair, mirroring his little lover. Shion pulled back a bit, smiled shyly. Nezumi watched helplessly as he wiped his tears away, little by little. His smile was a little more confident the longer this went on, the more time passed where Nezumi didn't push him away and deny this moment. This opportunity of connection between them. When Shion smiled like that and he allowed him inside, even just a little, everything was bright and new and terrifying. He wanted to climb out through the window.

Nezumi knew it wasn't true, but still, Shion once again appeared to have superhuman mind reading abilities. Or, more likely, his face broke and Shion saw it there. The fear, the uncertainty, the walls building themselves back up between his heart and Shion's.

Shion grabbed the t-shirt, then lazily tied one of Nezumi's ankles to his own. “Don't leave me,” he whispered, snuggling up to Nezumi warmly. Nezumi welcomed him, wrapped him into a warm embrace.

“A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool,” Nezumi said quietly, pulling Shion even closer to him. His voice was raspy from tears and he felt stupid. It wasn't even the best fitting quote for the situation. He had no intention of explaining himself. Shion would probably just assume he was calling him stupid again anyway.

“Nezumi, I...” Shion stopped. He stopped for such a long time, Nezumi began to think he wasn't going to continue at all. The airhead never was good with words. “Stay,” Shion suddenly said. “Just stay.” He sounded tired, powerless, resigned to an unknown and unfortunate fate. 

Nezumi thought about all he had suffered. It must have been so hard for him, yet Nezumi had not stopped to think of his feelings once. Only his own.

“Shion, I don't know how to love,” Nezumi confessed softly, muffled by Shion's hair. He kissed him softly on the top of his head, stroked his bangs away from his forehead, and kissed him softly there as well. It was stated as a fact. Not a plea, or a complaint. Only a fact.

When Shion took too long to reply, Nezumi thought maybe it was better if he didn't hear. He could pretend he never said it once this vulnerable moment passed. He could still have an out. He could pretend to still be naive to the extent of Shion's feelings. He could--

“I've loved you since we were 12,” Shion said. “I need you to know, in case you leave, before you go-- you'll always be the only one to hold me. Even if someone else tried to make love to me, it would still be only you. Whenever you need it, please. Just use me.”

Nezumi thought it sounded very desperate. Shion was willing to accept a one-sided love. He was using the tools at his disposable. He knew Nezumi liked to fuck. Loved it, even. And he would offer up everything just to be held by him.

Nezumi didn't say a word as Shion drifted off into exhausted sleep. 

He could escape now, very soon, while Shion was asleep. Come back occasionally for a mind blowing lay, because that sure was something.

He could escape easily from the tie binding his ankle, but it was the gesture, he thought, that kept him there through the night. 

Only the gesture.


	7. Forgetful

Something was stabbing into his thigh. It feel sharp and thin, but distinctly lacked the cold bite of metal. It was vaguely warm, and he rolled onto his side to investigate.

Nezumi _tsked_ at the object as he picked it up and held it between his fingers. He had been sleeping on a condom wrapper that dug into him the wrong way. A condom wrapper. With the condom sealed inside of it. An unused condom wrapper. Nezumi groaned and threw his head back down on the pillow. He forgot to use the condom.

He forgot to use the _fucking_ condom.

Nezumi flung himself out of bed. Shion groaned and bolted up, his leg pulled away from him with Nezumi's.

“Get this stupid thing off of me, Shion,” Nezumi hissed. 

“G'mornimmm,” Shion yawned and rubbed his eyes, then leaned forward and untied the shirt holding their ankles loosely together. He slipped the shirt over his head then walked over to the kitchen area, presumably to prepare tea or coffee. Nezumi appreciated the plump of Shion's ass cheeks under his shirt, half-exposed.

He also took a second to appreciate that it was not, in fact, 'mornimmm'. If the clock had any right to call itself a clock, it was in fact 4 o'clock in the afternoon. Which meant there was still time to go out.

Nezumi was already fully clothed and lacing his boots by the time Shion saw him. He stopped in his tracks with two mugs in his hands. He took a loud sip from one of the mugs, studying him. “Going out?” Shion asked sheepishly.

“Mama is going to work now,” Nezumi condescended. He wondered briefly if Shion remembered the last time he said this to him.

“And as I said before, don't underestimate me,” Shion said without skipping a beat. He placed Nezumi's assumed mug on the coffee table. Nezumi stared at him with a hardened expression. He was such a brat, standing there in nothing but a t-shirt. Nezumi felt heat pool at his groin watching Shion's soft cock bob just below the fabric failing to cover him. A shower, Shion was. Not a grower. His eyes traveled back up to Shion's face and he saw that he was grinning at him. It was a huge grin.

“What?” Nezumi barked.

“Nothing,” Shion answered. “Just noticing you aren't packing your bag and you were raking your eyes over me, meaning you're coming back.”

Nezumi rolled his eyes and went quickly for the door. He threw on his coat and left without another word more.

His mind was racing. He couldn't believe he forgot the condom, after all of the effort he went to get it. They weren't cheap. They weren't particularly easy to find, either. They were a newer addition in his life and he was so specific-- so very specific-- in finding this for Shion. And then he completely blew it.

Before Nezumi even realized, he was hightailing it to the location of Inukashi's old place. He arrived in short time, then stopped just outside of the front door to the old building. It looked better than it used to, the part that was used still. He could see that much of the building had been abandoned in favor of fixing up a small piece of it real nice. He took a deep breath, then pulled the door open and headed inside.

Inukashi's eyes locked onto his from across the foyer immediately. He scowled, then marched over to him, fists clenched.

“Don't you DARE judge me,” Nezumi started combatively as Inukashi approached him as if ready to brawl. Nezumi grounded himself, ready to take a blow. “I need to find a clinic.”

Inukashi stopped just inches from him, practically vibrating with fury. “ _Oh_ , 'I need to find a clinic!' you say!” he crowed. “I don't care what you need to do. I only need to know what you've done with the weirdo.”

Nezumi clicked his tongue. “Well, I fucked him.” Nezumi shrugged his shoulders. 

“KEEP IT DOWN!” Inukashi seethed. Nezumi could hear young Shionn in the other room, singing “ring around the rosie”. By the way her voice lulled in and out of clarity, he assumed she was running around the room beside them in delighted circles. 

Nezumi stared into Inukashi's eyes, challenging. Inukashi made no indication to attack, but held his ground firmly. _Pock-et full of po-sies... aa-shes... aa-shes..._

“What are you teaching that child?” Nezumi mocked. “Ancient nursery rhymes? Do you tuck her in every night and tell her the tooth fairy might come?” Nezumi felt a thrill run through him as Inukashi gritted his teeth. He wanted a fight. He wanted it bad.

“You aren't worth it,” Inukashi spittled on his face as he spoke, then turned away from him. He took a seat in the foyer-now-turned-living-room and gestured Nezumi to join him just a few feet away. Nezumi obliged. He knew he only had two hours or so left until all of the clinics closed for the day. “So what did you do?” Inukashi's voice was low. Singing continued in the other room. “Spilled his blood all over? Failed to nurture him after you fucking devastated him?”

“Oh, mutt-lover. Have no doubt that he _enjoyed_ what I gave him,” Nezumi said quietly through his teeth, determined to not let the truth show. “I treated him gentle and proper like the girl he is. I even bought him a condom.”

Inukashi practically spat out the drink he had been taking a sip of. “That's fucking disgusting,” Inukashi whispered vehemently. “Classic rat.”

“I forgot to use that condom,” Nezumi smirked.

Inukashi's face went blank. “DON'T FORGET THE CONDOM!” he shouted. Shionn in the other room giggled and changed her lyrics, keeping with the same tune. _Don forget the connum... don forget the connum..._

Nezumi laughed. He laughed so hard he felt like his side was going to burst open a wrath of hundred of mini-Nezumi heads, all laughing into oblivion.

“So what the fuck do you want?” Inukashi growled, raking his hands down his cheeks, pulling his eye sockets. Shionn sang blissfully in the background.

“You're right, you're right...” Nezumi calmed himself, doing his best to gain composure. “I don't have time for this. I just need to get to a clinic that can do rapid testing. Today.”

Inukashi snorted, but proceeded to give him verbal direction. Nezumi took mental notes, trusting his outdated familiarity with the area would be enough to fill in the gaps.

Nezumi left quickly, mumbling something incoherent in the form of a farewell. He distantly heard Inukashi calling something about how they still need to talk from the doorway.

Nezumi was frantic in his mind, but cold and distanced in his actions. His legs did most of the work, his subconscious sending the commands. The clinic was not far, just inside the old number 6 walls, and they were sure to take walk-ins if they had rapid testing.

He found the small clinic easily, then stormed in, stomping the mud from his boots firmly before approaching the counter. He was quick and methodical in his requests. He waited only a few minutes before going into the back room. A quick pee and swab, a quick blood sample, and he was left in the patient room alone. 

Nezumi rested his elbows on his knees, breathing deeply in through his nose and out through his mouth. He tugged his hair roughly in his hands, wanting to pull until he he was balding and bleeding all over the floor. What if he wasn't clean? What if he fucked Shion and, in turn, fucked his entire life? What if it was serious? He couldn't stand if Shion felt even a slight itch because of him, let alone a compromised immune system. What if he fucking _killed_ the love of his life from pure negligence and idiocy? Wouldn't that just be a fitting fate for them, very romantic, fuck...

The nurse came back with a beaming smile. Nezumi knew she saw the panic in his eyes when she wasted no time telling him he was completely clean.

Nezumi paid quickly at the front desk and left in a hurry. As his feet carried him home, he applauded himself internally for remembering the condom every... almost every... ok not even close but he applauded himself for remembering the condom every time that apparently actually mattered. He really could have fucked everything up already. He'd only been back for one day.

This was why he left and stayed gone. He was a cold-hearted, dangerously damaged, violent fuck-up of a human being. 

Nezumi chuckled at himself briefly. The level of panic he felt, internally, sitting in that room just waiting... his irrational-- or maybe unfortunately completely rational?-- thought process. Through the haze of panic and regret, he could see only one pale face with a charming pink scar. Without any shred of doubt, he had known that face was the face of the love of his life. There was no darkness in that thought, not even self-loathing, only tenderness and a desire to cherish.

Nezumi cursed himself under his breath. He knew that he was going to need to make some serious personal progress if this was going to work out for more than one fucking day.


	8. Why they mad tho

Shion sighed. The days went by and by and Nezumi was there, but since that day, when he had practically offered himself up on a platter, Nezumi had made no effort to touch him. He avoided his eyes and always sat at a friendly-and-nothing-more-than-that distance. Shion just didn't get it. If he told Nezumi how confused he was, he would probably just hear, 'What's new?” Maybe he would laugh at him. Much more likely, both would happen.

The weather was starting to feel more like an approaching Spring than the depths of Winter.

They walked by a bush with just one flower bud peeking through the left-over snow. Nezumi stopped, held the bud gently in his hand. Shion hoped dearly that he would not pick the baby flower, ending its life on just a mere whim. 

“The seasons alter: hoary-headed frosts fall in the fresh lap of the crimson rose,” Nezumi practically sang the words. Shion thought to himself how annoying this must be to most people, but how impressive and awe-inspiring it was for him each and every time. “And an old Hiems' thin and icy crown an odorous chaplet or sweet summer bud is, as in mockery, set. The spring, the summer, the childing autumn, angry winter, change. Their wonted liveries, and the mazed world, by their increase, knows not which is which.”

They had stopped walking. Nezumi was looking off in the distance, caught up in his temporary theatrics. At the finale, he shoved his hands into his pockets and walked away as if nothing had happened. Shion laughed, a little louder than he meant to, and skipped in his step to catch up to Nezumi. They were once again walking side by side.

The onlookers didn't recognize Nezumi. They wouldn't know him, he supposed. Many of the people who would long left this part of town. It left a bad taste in one's mouth. Brought back memories of oppression, rape, starvation, violence... whatever afflicted them out here, they all had thought, couldn't follow them elsewhere. They needed a fresh start.

“Jealous?” Nezumi teased, challenging Shion through the corner of his eye. Shion felt his heart sink when Nezumi looked away quickly, avoiding holding his gaze for more than a few brief seconds.

“Did you know people used to complain about that?” Shion queried, his tone flippant.

“Huh?” Nezumi bristled. The sound of their feet tapping the thawing pavement and the soft whir of the wind surrounded them, cocooning them in the moment alone together. In plain sight, yet so private.

“The theatrical recitations,” Shion answered factually.

Nezumi chortled. “Is that so? Would you like to hear another?”

“Yes please,” Shion answered without hesitation or malice. “I love them so much. Each time you recite something, it's like I'm hearing the words for the first time, coming to life on your lips.” Shion flicked his hair from his eye, still very much overdue for that trim. He wondered absentmindedly if Inukashi would be home. He also wondered when, if at all, Nezumi would notice that was where they were headed.

Shion noticed Nezumi watching him, his eyes suspicious and cat-like. Shion stuck his tongue out at him to ease the tension. 

Was it something he said?

“Shion, is that...?” a voice broke into the exchange and they both stopped in their tracks. Inukashi emerged from a narrow alley between two houses. He had just one dog at his side. He held a small notebook and pen in his hands.

“Morning! We were just headed to your place,” Shion explained, grinned stupidly. He diligently ignored the pissed off look Nezumi shot at him. We were going _where?_ his face seemed to accuse. Shion had insisted, firmly ensured, that there was no hidden agenda on this walk. “What are you doing here?” Shion asked.

“The reports are getting out of hand. When I didn't find the break-in culprit, some teenagers started reporting every house in the goddamn city. So I'm here clearing this--” Inukashi came to a full stop, glared at Nezumi.

Shion felt his cheeks become very hot and he moved his hands quickly to cover them. Nezumi looked entirely unamused, save for his lips pursed in contained anger.

“You can stop looking now we mfmhrmrhrm...” Shion said into his hands, sinking to cover his entire face.

“Hello, Nezumi” Inukashi greeted with no warmth. “I found my culprit. Time to talk. Where have you been off to for four fucking years?” Shion could understand this anger, to an extent. Inukashi was there for it all. Shion's outbursts, his long bouts of depression, his determined statements that Nezumi would return even when met only with doubt from others. Though he couldn't shake the feeling that he was missing something here.

“None of your business,” Nezumi seethed. “What are you, a cop now?” he laughed.

Shion sank as far down into the safety of his hands as he could. He really thought this would go better. Why did he think this would go better?

“Yes. Literally. Not a lot of crime, though,” Inukashi shrugged. “You're welcome for helping save your life, our entire civilization, and the recent favor. I'm ready for my payment, four years late.” Recent? Shion was sure now that he was missing some pertinent information.

Shion saw Nezumi tighten his fist. “It's time for us to go!” Shion said hastily, grabbing Nezumi by his clenched fist and pulling them away, back toward the house. As he pulled him, Nezumi made no attempt to pull back, just allowed himself to be guided. It was almost like he felt... tired? Maybe a little bit guilty.

Shion pulled Nezumi's hand up to his lips and kissed his knuckles softly. Nezumi pulled away, then matched his steps by his side.

Once they were out of sight, Shion stopped, placed his hands gently on Nezumi's shoulders. His face wasn't angry, just blank. Shion had no idea what he was thinking, practically ever. Nezumi inhaled sharply after having stopped his breath under Shion's unrelenting gaze. He watched carefully as the dark-haired man casually tightened his hair tie, then exhaled heavily.

Shion laughed and quickly looked away, hands still on Nezumi's shoulders. Those eyes, those hands... everything Nezumi was and did was so breathtaking.

“What?” Nezumi titled his head slightly, seeking Shion's gaze. 

Shion allowed himself to look into the dark eyes, an endless storm in the night that lulls you through your sleep, occasionally rouses you with a soft thunder. “No-- I just thought that every time you move, it's remarkably elegant.”

“Huh?”

“Just fixing your hair, or taking a sip of water, or walking down the street... you're captivating. I'm always staring.”

Nezumi pushed his arms away silently, then started to walk away, in the direction of their tiny shared home.

“Life doesn't have to always be a battle. It's over, Nezumi. The war is over.”

Nezumi didn't say anything, just continued walking. Shion wouldn't dare look at him once he caught up to his pace, just stared blankly at the ground when his feet landed, alternating in a steady rhythm.

“A peace is of the nature of a conquest; for then both parties nobly are subdued, and neither party loser,” Nezumi recited. Shion allowed himself a peek. He wondered if the tousling of Nezumi's long bangs was due to the breeze or his sweet breath.

“But there's no way to subdue you, Nezumi,” Shion huffed. He was a bit annoyed with Nezumi, though not completely sure why. Reflecting on the reaction with Inukashi made him a bit more confident in his annoyance, and he allowed himself to let blatant irritation show on his features.

Nezumi grabbed him from around behind, then brushed his lips against his ear. Shion gripped his wrists and arms tightly as Nezumi licked his ear seductively, nibbled gently on his earlobe. “You subdue me,” he whispered. Shion squeezed his eyes shut. 

He did what?

And the moment was over. Nezumi pulled away, avoiding eye contact, and continued to walk home. Shion followed a very short distance behind him, dazed and confused.


	9. Reading

What did Nezumi want from him? He didn't get it. What _were_ they?

He groaned as his office computer chimed with another email. There were so many inquiries, mostly contract offers from young up-start initiatives around the city, and he simply didn't have time for all of it. He was practically a volunteer and despite years of living this way, the overtime was killing him.

He opened the email. Experimental pesticides? Hard pass. Crops in his district would be all-natural, exclusively. If someone wanted to call him an extremist on that, then let them. He didn't care.

Shion acknowledged he would be home late today. He wondered what Nezumi was doing at that time. Was he cooking for their dinner? He had taken to cooking and cleaning every night the past few nights without question or explanation. He was a wonderful cook, Shion discovered, now that they had ingredients and resources they could have only dreamed of when they lived together previously. He pushed the thoughts away and dove himself into his work, hoping to be home soon.

When Shion finally finished his work, sending his last email, he saw that it was nearly 9 o'clock. Wow, he thought. That was the latest night he had pulled in a long time.

He swung by the library quickly, greeted the friendly old man reading there and entrusted him with the keys for the foreseeable future. More books coming soon! he promised.

His feet carried him of their own free will. Before he knew it, he was running home, desperate to get there. He was in no mood to stop and talk to anyone. There were two people in the world that mattered to him in that moment, and it was him and Nezumi. _What if Nezumi is gone when you get there?_ a voice in his head asked him. _What if today was the day?_ Shion was running faster and faster, desperate to get home.

He stopped in front of the door. He realized the point of running was entirely defeated if he stopped here for 5 minutes to compose himself. But that's what he did. Waited 5 minutes for his heart to stop pounding and his hands to stop shaking. He prayed to whatever god might exist that when he opened the door, Nezumi would be behind it. It was nearly 9:30. He had practically sprinted to get here in that record time.

He opened the door slowly. “Nezumi?” he questioned alongside a soft door creek, voice a bit less confident than he would have liked. “Are you--”

Shion sighed. Nezumi was there, his black hair tousled all around him in an un-brushed mess. He was sitting up, his neck kinked as he slept, the couch still made for daytime use as opposed to sleeping. There were two plates of grilled chicken and veggies on the coffee table in front of him, likely long gone cold.

Shion closed the door softly behind him and crept quietly over. He was starving. He sat down softly next to Nezumi on the couch so as not to wake him, then cleared his plate. As he finished up the last bite, he felt Nezumi tense in his sleep. Shion saw that his lips were moving as if saying something. He assumed with admiration that he was giving some dramatic monologue on stage in some far-off, dreamy theater.

Shion resumed the book he had been reading. Nezumi continued to twitch and tense beside him, seemingly in the throes of a vivid and engaging dream. Shion furrowed his brow. He could have sworn he heard Nezumi murmur the word “No.” Maybe it was a nightmare?

Shion shrugged. Everyone got nightmares. Sleep was still sleep.

When he heard the “No” again, still murmured but that time unmistakable, he thought about waking him. Then he saw him settle and relax, his sharp jawline resting firmly against his chest. He was going to have a sore neck, that was for sure. Shion chuckled a little.

“Shiyommmn...” Nezumi mumbled in his sleep. Was it wishful thinking to think that was supposed to be his name and not just a random sleep hum? Shion couldn't take it anymore. Nezumi was either having a nightmare he needed to be woken from, or a dream where he was... uhm... thinking about Shion that he needed to be woken from. There was no question about it.

Shion shook him by the shoulder. Nezumi bolted awake, eyes wide, chest panting. He looked around the room with wild eyes. Shion made sure to smile for him and as soon as Nezumi found his face, his muscles relaxed.

“Whatcha reading?” Nezumi casually asked. 

What was he reading? Seriously?

“Some new poetry,” Shion answered. Then he challenged, “What were you dreaming?”

Nezumi chewed on the bottom of his lip. Shion wasn't sure he had ever seen him do that before. Then he saw his cold food and Shion's empty plate beside it. He narrowed his eyes at him judgmentally, to which Shion squealed and buried his face back in his book.

“I want to hear it,” Shion clenched his fingers on the book in his hands. “I want to know, Nezumi.”

There was a long silence between them.

“I will tell you,” Nezumi answered in between bites of food. “But only because I...” Nezumi paused and narrowed his eyes at him once more. “...respect you and your desire for an answer.” He took a deep breath. Shion held his own as he pretended to still pay some attention to his book. “I still dream about when you....” He looked at Shion . His face was positively broken.

Shion knew what he was talking about. He had killed a man. That man had threatened Nezumi's life and he murdered him single-handedly. It still bothered him sometimes, too, but he always knew it was the right choice, somewhere deep down. “I would rather have died,” Nezumi said, then shoveled some string beans into his mouth.

“But then you--” Shion was cut off by Nezumi.

“That's all I have to say,” he said with his mouth full.

Shion felt tears well up in his eyes. Of course he did. He always cried. Why was he so weak? Shion decided to respect Nezumi's boundaries. He had already met him half way and Shion knew he needed to reward such positive progress. Shion lost himself in the poetry on the page, enthralled by the way the words created new ideas and associations.

“This is majestic,” Nezumi commented. He had scooted a bit closer and was, apparently, reading the poetry over Shion's shoulder. “I should have been a pair of ragged claws/ Scuttling across the floors of silent sea,” he read from the page, then asked, “Is this a classic?”

“I'm not sure. I just found it in some old abandoned buildings,” Shion answered. It was true. He had no idea. The title and author of the book was lost to wear and tear, some pages missing, almost as if someone intentionally wanted to hide the identity of the book.

“Can you read to me?” Nezumi asked.

“You're a much better reader than me,” Shion blushed.

“That's true,” Nezumi triumphed. “I'll read.”

Shion did his best to conceal the giddy glee that immediately bubbled up inside of him.

“Let us go then, you and I,  
When the evening is spread out against the sky  
Like a patient etherized upon a table,” Nezumi read. His voice was perfect, he read the lines so well, as if he had read them before, practiced this 100 times over. Instead, he was seeing them here for the first time. _What did they call that?_ Shion mused to himself. _A winter reading?_

Shion relaxed beside him, Nezumi's right arm holding one side of the book while Shion held the other.

Shion loved this one, and he could hear with every word Nezumi brought to life on his lips that he was falling in love with the words as well. Nezumi's voice swelled with passion, wavered a bit on his words, as he read the powerful lines:

“Do I dare  
Disturb the universe?  
In a minute there is time  
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.”

Nothing had ever sounded more sweet than Nezumi's voice breaking over those lines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must credit the poetry here since it's not just Shakespeare like it always is when you see it in No. 6 stuff.
> 
> This is a very famous poem by T.S. Eliot. It is called "The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock". It's beautiful. Amazing. 10/10. I highly recommend listening to the recording of Eliot reading it. It's breathtaking.
> 
> You've maybe noticed, but I am only capable of writing a long chapter when they fuckin'. Which is gonna happen again. I have an honest attention span.


	10. Dancing

“When will you leave?” Shion asked, looking up from where he was stretching his sore leg muscles in the open space of the room. He had started jogging with Nezumi in the mornings and it was really taking a toll on him. He had never been much of a runner, but the habit was growing on him. Always trailing behind Nezumi desperately, heaving, watching that beautiful man sweat and work his muscles. It was a pastime that had some appeal to it. It made him wish he could run like that, Nezumi trailing behind him desperately, gasping for breath and watching his form disappear ahead of him.

Nezumi looked up from his book. He had been getting really into the mystery poetry books lately, seemingly unable to put them down for even just a day. “What do you mean?” Nezumi's eyebrows raised as he watched Shion stretch his calves.

Shion finished his last stretch in silence. He knew Nezumi was not actually confused. It was a trap, a trick to open Shion up to looking a million times more stupid than he already did every time he opened his mouth.

Shion placed his hands on Nezumi's and slammed the book shut in front of his face, puffing his bangs. It had been weeks since Nezumi had been affectionate with him. He just couldn't figure out what Nezumi wanted from him. The adrenaline from the run was fueling him, giving him just enough courage to confront him. Nezumi pulled his hands away from Shion's, placed the book down on the coffee table. “Why won't you touch me?” Shion asked quickly, before he had time to overthink the question.

“I'm studying,” Nezumi answered equally quick, his tone implying the answer was obvious. Then he winked at Shion. “Don't worry, I'm a fast learner.”

Fast learner... Shion deflated. “So then you'll leave soon.”

Nezumi chuckled and stood, pulled Shion back to the open space in the room. He cocked one eye brow, then took him in his arms for a dance. Shion's face was hot, but he wasn't sure if it was because we was absolutely smitten... or absolutely furious. Nezumi twirled him, humming a tune that was familiar, yet so distant in his memory it felt new. “I don't know,” Nezumi said, dipped him back on his arm. “I'm a quick study, but my mentor has a lot to teach.” He grinned at him.

Nezumi's face was close to his, almost touching. Shion closed his eyes, waiting, hoping for a kiss. Then he was being twirled again. Shion was in a daze, but Nezumi was laughing. He let go of Shion's hand, beamed at him, laughed again. He was stepping to the beat of his own music. “Dance with me, airhead.”

Shion took the same stance they had so many years ago, allowed himself to be led. Nezumi's hand cupped the small of his back delicately.

Shion could tell he wasn't getting the joke, which only made him feel more stupid.

“I'm still a bit clumsy,” Shion apologized. He was trying his best to keep up with Nezumi, trying to remember what he learned years ago, but he felt clunky and insufficient. He felt Nezumi's thumb stroke the small of his back to sooth him.

“Yes, you have much to learn also,” Nezumi chortled. Shion tripped over his feet for a moment, forgetting to turn the right way. “Though _you_ aren't a quick study.”

Shion focused all of his attention on keeping time with Nezumi, who resumed humming for them. He chanted internally, keeping time. 1, 2, 3... 1, 2, 3...

“Now,” Nezumi stopped. He took a new stance. “Arms like this,” he instructed. They were holding hands now, clasped loosely, then they were gliding across the floor together. Shion slipped when they turned too suddenly. Nezumi caught him again, like in the other dance, and placed a kiss on his lips. 

Shion moaned with relief. Shion was filled with the sweet warmth of Nezumi as his tongue dipped into his mouth. Everything smelled like him-- like sandalwood and midnight rain. Then Nezumi coaxed him upright. “You're what the stars dotting far away galaxies smell like,” Shion said stupidly, caught in a daze.

Nezumi was gazing at him now, finally, finally, and Shion sighed as Nezumi's thumb gently rubbed his lips, then dipped into his mouth. Shion welcomed the digit, licked it from top to bottom, twirled around the top. He was more than a little bit aware of how suggestive he was being as he locked eyes with Nezumi, sucking his thumb up and down.

Shion felt his half-hard cock twitch to life when Nezumi sharply inhaled and carried him to the bed. Nezumi hovered over him, his arms shaking on either side of him. He gasped when a hand slid its way under his shirt and began to fondle one of his nipples. They gently slipped their tongues together.

“We're both learning,” Nezumi breathed into his mouth, sending electricity to his groin.

They made love softly. Nezumi's strong body loomed over him, breathing heavily and gripping the sheets at his sides. Every time Nezumi groaned, Shion fell in love with the fact that he was the reason he sounded so wanting. He would watch Shion beneath him with hungry eyes, then squeeze his eyes shut with deep focus.

“You overwhelm me,” Nezumi breathed against his ear as he slid gently in and out. Shion was babbling in delirious pleasure, like he couldn't ever, wouldn't ever, get enough of Nezumi. He wanted to be ripped apart by this throbbing cock inside of him again and again. Shion swore that thick cock was sculpted specifically for his round ass.

Shion wanted to say something, let him know how good it was, but was too late before lips and teeth were tearing away at his mouth. With every thrust, he drove his hips off of the bed to meet him with electric pleasure.

Shion whimpered high and desperate in the back of his throat as Nezumi slicked up and down his cock, passionately bringing him along to that delicious height. “Shion... my baby...” Nezumi whispered to him softly as he came deeply inside of him. He looked lost, dizzied as he pumped himself and creamed in his quivering walls. His face was open with awe as he raked his eyes over him, then covered him with his wide, muscular shoulders while still nestled inside. Shion did everything in his power to choke back tears.

It hadn't been quite a confession. Yet, it was somehow more than one could ever be.


	11. Mini-smut but barely

He'd fucked up. He didn't mean to fuck Shion again for a while-- not until he had himself sorted out. He hadn't lasted long. Just a couple of weeks. He couldn't really blame himself. When he reflected on the last time he took him, it brought only joy and excitement rather than regret. He had been better that time, more composed, caring. Taking Shion had been indescribable. It felt like coming home, like his cock was just made for Shion's pale, plump little ass. Shion's eyes had captured him. He felt addicted.

However, that was a month ago now. He had lasted an entire month-- precisely his internally pledged minimum amount of time to resist.

Nezumi opened the door to the small makeshift home to find Shion standing in front of the full-length mirror, completely naked. His interest and dick both immediately piqued. 

If there was a Lord up there, he had been toying with Nezumi for his entire life. And today, he had sent a terrible trial.

He placed the groceries down on the coffee table, then stood behind Shion, looking over his shoulder at what he saw without touching. Nezumi's pale skin contrasted the pink scar wrapped around. It smoothed up his leg as if left by a delicate brush stroke, up through his inner thigh, just passing his cock. It painted its way around and up his torso, circled up sensually to his neck and just below his eye.

“What are you doing?” Nezumi questioned him.

“Sometimes I just... look at it,” Shion explained so helpfully. Nezumi couldn't really blame him, nor could he complain. His cock was already tight in his pants just from looking at him. Nezumi touched his hips gently, just barely ghosting his fingers along the bone there. He drew small circles and hummed when Shion shivered under his touch.

Nezumi traced the scar from his hip down to his inner thigh, flicking his eyelashes and flirting sensually with Shion in the mirror.

“It would be nice to do more with this...” Nezumi flirted, feathering along the scar to his knee, then back up to his thigh.

“The mirror? Or my scar?” Shion asked without any hint of sarcasm.

Shion was completely flaccid. He was completely naked before his lover, standing in the mirror, sex-deprived for an entire moth while being stroked sensually yet, somehow, he was not aroused. Nezumi marveled at the level of innocence, admired the fact that he didn't instantaneously sexualize every touch he ever received. Nezumi loved how different they were. He knew that so much as a brief, professional handshake with Shion would have him ready to fuck on cue.

“Both,” Nezumi teased. “Whether anything ever happens in that brain of yours, I'll never know.” He tapped Shion's forehead gently with his index finger.

“Why am I so stupid,” Shion whimpered. Nezumi stopped his hand. There was a strain in Shion's voice. He looked at him in the mirror. Tears were welling in the slender man's eyes. Yeah, this guy was definitely stupid.

“Huh? Shion...” he said, hands on his shoulders. “You're smart, so smart. Remember when you were top of your class? I just say things. I try not to, but then somehow, I manage.”

Shion shrugged like he didn't believe him, swallowed hard. Oh course, he thought Shion was a genius. He bit naive and lacking some common sense sure, but the way he spoke of the world was poetic, wise. He had never admired a person for their mind and body more in his life.

“Msorry,” Nezumi whispered, backpedaling. If he wanted to learn to be a good lover, he needed to also learn to be less of a prick all the time. He knew this, but still, in practice... it's very difficult to not be a total dick when you are, in fact, a total dick.

“Let's talk about the elegance of your skin,” Nezumi breathed against his neck, then licked the length of the scar there. It was the first time he could ever remember apologizing to Shion for something that was, in his opinion, so stupid. It pricked and prodded at his pride. Shion sighed against him, moved his head to allow Nezumi full access to his sensitive neck.

“Have you ever...” Shion blushed.

Nezumi stared at him in the mirror incredulously. “Shion, you know I've fucked,” he said, then grinned. “I'm a great fucker,” he triumphed, practically puffed out his chest as he said it with a wicked grin.

Shion shook his head. He looked very flustered. “Have you ever been...” Shion blushed harder. Nezumi inhaled sharply as he traced his finger along the scar on Shion's torso, raking his eyes down the full length of Shion. His cock was hard now, dangling wet-tipped in clear view.

“I prefer to make my partners beg for me in a haze of unbearable pleasure,” Nezumi deadpanned. He dipped his fingers into Shions mouth, who gladly lathered them with his saliva. He then swirled his index finger around the tip of Shion's cock. He kissed his neck, tickled his finger up and down his shaft. Well, he didn't have to fuck him to make him moan. 

Only once Shion begged for more did he grip him firmly and stroke him to a shaking orgasm, watching him come undone in the mirror.

~~~~~

They were out on their morning run together. The sky was lain out like a pink and purple water color painting, dappled by disorganized, gray splotches. The sun was just peeking over the horizon, crouched somewhere behind the buildings while lighting up the whole sky. His left shoe felt loose, and Nezumi looked down to find a lace had gone awry.

“Hey, stop with me,” Nezumi said as Shion zipped past him.

“Nope!” Shion called back, covering as much ground as he could while Nezumi knelt down to re-tie his shoe lace.

Shion was avoiding him. The tables had turned.

Day after day, Shion sat too far away, spent too many hours at work, and pulled away from any type of touch, even innocent. Was he not the one that felt confused when Nezumi wouldn't touch him? So now he wouldn't let him touch him? Sound logic for an idiot, he supposed.

He wondered, watching Shion's pale skin under the rising sun, what if Shion did fuck him? Shion's legs flexed, sweat dripping down his entire body, carrying him as far from Nezumi as he could get. He was like an androgynous model, disappearing into the sun rise. Nezumi had tried getting fucked before. He didn't love it. The lack of control, the uncomfortable burning, the foreign stretching of his ass...

But, on the other hand... if he was receiving, he could still make Shion beg for it. That was an enticing challenge. Just the thought of seeing what Shion looked like in that scenario was almost too good to pass up. Being rewarded with Shion's face once ready to take him was too sweet a proposition.

Nezumi worked his legs twice as hard as usual, working at his true running speed instead of his relaxed pace he set for Shion's benefit. Shion had slowed, barely able to keep a jogging pace, and Nezumi caught up beside him, smiling at his partner before resuming his place just ahead of him.


	12. Touching A Lot (Smut Pt. 3)

Nezumi slammed a stack of books down with a thud, finally able to see the way in front of him again. He looked around, inhaled sharply. The delicious scent of hundreds of books filled his lungs . He felt a calmness wash over him. The library was coming along quite well. Nezumi was impressed. He fantasized sticking around town for years to come, going through every book a couple dozen times before setting off on a journey to find more. Maybe, every now and then, he could bend Shion over and fuck him over a pile of books. His two favorite things coming together all at once.

After they set all the books up in their new categorized homes, they themselves went home.

Nezumi watched Shion as he removed his shoes. Shion practically radiated a sense of accomplishment as he smiled at the new surface. “Finally, some table space above knee-height!” he triumphed. Nezumi had also found it annoying that they were always hunched over a coffee table when there was a perfectly good-- although heavily dusty-- table right in front of them.

Nezumi blew on the table. A cloud of dust bellowed in the air, free from where it once nestled safely between stacks of books. “All it needs is chairs,” Shion smiled. He grabbed a rag and wiped the table clean. The rag was dappled in black spots when he finished.

It was almost like they were creating a home together, a true home. The domestic nature of it made Nezumi want to puke. Yet, beyond his control, his hands were already reaching for Shion's hips to grab him and maybe shove his tongue in his mouth a little bit. Maybe he could even bend him over that new table that, he'd noticed on many different occasions, was just about the perfect height for some thorough exploration.

Shion dodged him. Nezumi wouldn't have been able to tell if it was intentional or just arbitrary timing if it hadn't been for the speed with which Shion moved. He was darting for the sink, as if rinsing off that rag was now the most urgent and pressing issue in his life.

Nezumi wasn't having any of it. Not today. He stalked up behind Shion washing the rag and placed his hands on his hips, then gently rubbed his hard cock against his ass. When he ran his hands up his sides, under his shirt, Shion continued to wash the rag as if nothing was happening.

“C'mon,” Nezumi breathed in his ear, rolling his hips against him sensually. “Let me show you a good time today...”

“No,” Shion answered flatly. He shut off the water and removed himself from Nezumi's embrace without any hesitance.

“Are you ever going to let me fuck you again or nah?” Nezumi asked in frustration. Shion huffed, then turned to face Nezumi.

“You still put everything into dichotomies,” Shion said. “We have sex every day or we're just friends. You're either in control or you'll have no part in it.”

Shion didn't look particularly hot and bothered, but he could see clearly on his face that he definitely was... troubled. Nezumi leaned confidently against the wall, one leg resting over the other. “You could fuck me instead,” he flirted shamelessly. He cocked one eyebrow, tilted his head.

Shion _tsked_ at him, not in any mood to call him on what he seemed to be very sure was just an empty bluff. He had thought about this, long and hard. Nezumi had days ago decided something equally long and hard wasn't such a bad idea. Maybe it would be fun. He could watch Shion fall apart in a whole different way.

Adrenaline rushed through him as Shion's cheeks turned red. He was winning. Shion's eyes looked wet and he balled his fists. He was angry, but far from scary. He was like a delicate white petaled flower trying to intimidate someone into not stomping about his garden.

Nezumi clucked his tongue thoughtfully, then pushed himself from the wall. “Such a girl,” he told Shion, brushing past him on his way to the couch.

“No,” Shion hissed. Nezumi stopped. Shion actually sounded quite angry that time. He could remember only one time in all the years when he sounded like this, at the facility... “I'm a man.” Nezumi clenched his jaw. Something about Shion's voice now was... fucking hot. “I'm a man and I have desires, too. Don't say things like that when you know you could never take it.”

Even as Nezumi berated himself for being so cruel, so simple-minded, he felt anger swell within him. The words _'could never take it'_ rang in Nezumi's ears. Oh, he could fuckin' take it. How could he not take it? Shion took it just fine and he was much weaker.

It made Nezumi's blood boil. Nothing made him want to do something more than being told he wasn't strong enough. He loved a challenge and he was tired of waiting, sick of being avoided, and absolutely starved for Shion's attention. Now that he had opened up to his affection, he couldn't live without it.

“I'm going out,” Shion fumed, already tugging on his shoes. Nezumi studied him with pursed lips, thinking up an action plan. He could surprise Shion when he came home. Present him with something so delicious that even his innocent little lover wouldn't be able to pass it up.

“Running away from your problems?” Nezumi asked, his face showing nothing.

“That's your role.” The truth behind those words stung Nezumi. Shion sighed, barely turned his head before opening the door. “I'm not going to be provoked. I'm just going for a walk.” His tone was soft, almost like an apology, but then he left. He was gone.

Nezumi figured he didn't have much time. He found the lube and adjusted the futon. Hastily, he removed all of his clothes, then collapsed onto his back.

And then just thought. Did he really want to do this? He hadn't minded fingering in the past. He knew what he was doing, and it didn't feel half bad.

But was he really committed to a dick up his ass tonight? Shion was pretty damn thick. And gorgeous. Imagining the thick, smooth curve of Shion's cock made his own twitch. He imagined Shion licking him all over, holding him down, claiming him. It wasn't by any means a new fantasy version of Shion and Nezumi moaned at the thought of it as he started to stroke himself.

He wet his finger with the lube, stalled for a moment, telling himself he was simply warming it up. Then he slicked one wet finger inside of himself. It wasn't great. He added more lube, worked at it, then eventually got his way up to two fingers. It was bearable at best. He was rushing himself through it, wanting only to be as far along as possible when Shion returned.

It was going to be more than worth the shock value. He'd grown well accustomed to Shion's cool-down walks. He had taken many of them in the time he had been avoiding Nezumi. Judging by the way he was always gone around the same number of minutes, Nezumi figured he always walked the same path each time at slightly varying paces.

Nezumi pushed up against his own prostate and his hips bucked involuntarily. He moaned and winced. He'd never loved the feeling of poking around inside of himself. It always took too long to warm up to it.

It was at that moment the door opened. Nezumi angled himself so he could see Shion's expression, his legs open with 2 fingers buried inside himself in plain sight of the front door. He didn't care even a little bit if a passer-by saw him.

Shion's mouth was slightly agape, eyebrows raised high and eyes wide. “What... what are you doing?” Shion asked as he closed and locked the door. He slowly removed his shoes, never taking his eyes from Nezumi once.

Nezumi imagined what he must have looked like as he started to pump his fingers in and out, rolling his hips slowly. With Shion watching him like this, across the room, it was starting to feel good. _Really_ good. His face was likely very flushed, his fingers disappearing into his hot hole. He and Shion were so similar, yet so different. If he had walked into something like this, his question would never have been _What are you doing?_ , but instead, _How do you want it?_

Nezumi raised his hips and rubbed his prostate with the soft pads of his fingers. He grunted from the pressure, then sighed. He was surprised by his own voice when his sigh sounded a bit more like a lusty moan. “Preparing.”

“I thought you don't... like...?” Shion inquired. He left his shoes and socks messily by the door, choosing instead to come closer to Nezumi. The correct choice.

“I hate it,” he said. Nezumi poked his own prostrate and truly moaned from the stimulation, still stroking his shaft. “But I can fuckin' take it,” he breathed. 

_And it feels really fucking good when your eyes are on me_ , he didn't dare add. He was getting loose now, extremely ready, craving any and all friction... even Shion's huge shaft opening him wide. Part of him couldn't quite believe his own actions, but the other part of him didn't give a shit and just wanted it bad.

“I'm ready,” Nezumi informed Shion coolly. “Where do you want me?” he asked, pulling his fingers from himself. He could hear Shion hum at him from across the room, seemingly loving when he saw Nezumi's sphincter tighten on his fingers firmly before letting go.

“The table,” Shion said firmly. He still wasn't close enough to touch him, was sort of hovering in the general vicinity of that stupid table.

Nezumi chuckled, swayed his hips a bit more than usual as he walked over to the table. Shion was positively glued to him. So he had thought about this stupid table before, too. Very amusing. 

He bent himself over the table, spread his legs and pushed up his ass. He couldn't see Shion anymore, but felt him move closer, maybe heard a couple of articles of clothing hit the floor. Or he hoped. Something that sounded like fabric had definitely hit the floor. Nezumi shivered with anticipation. He felt like a virgin again, fresh and unknowing, wide-eyed and ready for whatever.

He heard the cap of the lube pop open, waited, then a thin, hard digit slid into his ass. “Sorry,” Shion breathed behind him. “I just wanna make sure you're ready,” Shion was leaned over him, his breath ghosting near his ear. Shion was the most adorable, gentle thing in the world. Nezumi was laid out like a goddamn slut for him and all he could think of was taking good care of him.

“No,” Nezumi clenched himself around Shion's finger in protest, but also reveled in the feeling of something not his own finger moving inside him. “I don't wanna be too loose. I feel AH--!” Shion had calmly, unintentionally, stroked the pad of his finger on his prostate. Nezumi squeezed his eyes shut and allowed more of his weight to sink down onto the table top. His nipples rubbed the cold, smooth surface and he felt them hardening into pointy nubs. That felt fucking better than good. That was excruciatingly delectable. He hoped Shion would do it again. And again and again, but refused to ask, would rather be dead than beg for it.

Shion then, to his relief and exhilaration, made that same stroke again and again, his breath calm and slow against Nezumi's ear.

“I've never done this,” Shion said softly. “I like the way it feels around my finger. Especially when you quiver,” he slipped against Nezumi's prostate. Much to his objection, Nezumi quivered under him and clenched on his finger.

He had really outdone himself for Shion. He'd never responded like his. He figured preparing himself had been a good idea. No way Shion had any idea what he was doing.

“You've never done anything,” Nezumi teased, partially to taunt him and partially to cover up the way he was almost entirely unable to control his body's reactions.

“Yes I have,” Shion said without any hesitation, deadpan.

Nezumi's ears rang. A grenade had just gone off in the room of his pride. “Huh?” he exclaimed. He turned his head back at Shion, eyes gazing down the length of his own back. He appreciated the curve of his back and plump of his own ass. He looked good. Shion seemed to think so too. He was watching his ass with rapture as he sunk his fingers tenderly in and out. 

“You have some impressive selective listening skills, Nezumi. I've touched, been touched. It was just never right and I always, _always_ cried.” Nezumi thought about laughing, then Shion added, “Not the good kind of cry.” Nezumi inhaled sharply as Shion added a bit more lube and stretched him on three fingers, still nowhere near as thick as Shion. Sopping noises filled the room as Nezumi's hot hole gaped around his dripping fingers.

“And not the penetration kind of touch,” Shion finally added. Well, that was a fucking relief.

Nezumi had no more words to say. His legs were shaking and he was contemplating just letting go and allowing himself to enjoy the pleasure. His pride kept getting in the way, but he was panting now, shaking, curling his toes. _Well shit _, he thought. _Look which dumb ass is about to start begging in a haze of pleasure now.___

____

____

Shion turned him over. He lifted him onto the table, dangled his legs over his arms, and gripped his sides. Just like Shion, he thought, to not want to fuck him dirty doggy style against a table. 

He would feel the need to make it more intimate. 

Now that Nezumi could get a good look, Shion's face was beet red and wrecked when he hadn't even been stimulated. He was completely naked and Nezumi mentally high-fived himself for both the accurate assumption and the great view this gave him. Shion's pink nipples matched his pink scar. They were tensed into hardened nubs, which matched the pink tip of his throbbing dick All pink on a pale backdrop, with white hair and half-lidded eyes. Beautiful. 

Not only was it intimate, but Nezumi noticed he would have little control in this position. It freaked him out, it turned him on. It sent a shock of extreme excitement to his groin. His cock visibly twitched. Shion inhaled sharply. He'd been watching. 

“Hurry up already,” Nezumi grumbled. 

Shion lined himself up, pushed in the head, and stroked the entrance to Nezumi's tight entrance. His tip made filthy wet sounds against his hole, the combination of too much lube and precum creating the dirtiest thing Nezumi had ever heard in his life. “Fuck,” Nezumi breathed. His sphincter burned as it stretched, just like he wanted. 

Shion pulled him up for a kiss, his tongue gently touching his wet, sensitive muscle. It was disgustingly sensual. “I love licking the inside of your mouth,” Shion breathed into him, then dragged his tongue along the roof of Nezumi's mouth. Nezumi heard a small whine escape his own throat. 

“Why do you just say s--” Nezumi was stopped mid-sentence when Shion pressed his mouth back on his. He made out with him softly and sweetly as he fucked him with just the head of his cock. It drove Nezumi fucking mad. He needed that stimulation, and before he even realized it, he was whispering please under his breath. He grabbed Shion by the hair and shoved his tongue aggressively back to shut himself up. He really was in a position, physically and mentally, of no control. 

Shion slid into him, the full length, then took no time before repeating the stroke. His thrusts were unsure. He lacked rhythm, but his face was pure ecstasy. He broke the kiss and threw his head back, lips parted, and Nezumi couldn't get enough. Nezumi allowed himself to lay back on his elbows, taking in the sight of Shion fucking him. Shion was still so pure in appearance-- so beautiful and excitingly androgynous-- even as he was fucking into him. 

Nezumi growled and tried to use the leverage he could get from Shion's body to move and thrust back, get the angle right, but to no avail. He could do nothing but squirm and get fucked. 

It was at that moment that Shion angled up, stroking the trembling bundle of nerves hidden deep inside of Nezumi. His ass involuntarily clamped around Shion and the blond angel gasped from the tightness around him. “Nezumi...” Shion's cracked, husky voice floated through the air, chilled over his skin like an early morning draft. 

Nezumi squirmed more and more on his cock, trying desperately to simultaneously pull away from and trust back against the intrusion. His squirming seemed to bring out some primal need to claim in Shion. Shion was watching him now. His puffy cheekbones were rosy, his lips a swollen, bruised pink. The more Nezumi squirmed, the more desperately Shion thrust. Nezumi snarled deep in his throat and embraced the urge to squirm beneath his white sunflower haired lover. 

_God_ he loved fucking men, especially smaller men. Those men were really his type... men like Shion. He hadn't even realized he had a type before he met Shion. His favorite part was always, always, when he could draw this carnal masculinity, that rough sexual creature, out of an otherwise well-mannered man. Nezumi could no longer deny it. Now, there was no man for him but Shion, and he definitely wanted to do this more often. 

A new fire lit between them when Shion slipped from him briefly to pick him up by the ass and slam him against the wall. Nezumi's legs were still dangling over Shion's arms and he could feel the pressure as Shion used a great deal of momentum from the wall to hold him up. Shion pushed up into him, every agonizing inch, stretching him anew and sliding against his prostate. The pressure inside of him was explosive in this position. Shion could practically pound directly into that spot that shot white electricity to every corner of his burning body. 

Shion never would have had the strength to hold his body weight like this years ago. He really had grown much stronger. But still, the exertion was clear. Shion was rigorously out of breath now, but remained merciless in his fucking. Shion leaned his chest closer to him, pressing him further against the wall. Shion moaned deeply into his neck and bit down hard on his shoulder. Nezumi hoped it left a brutal mark. 

Nezumi was suddenly very surprised so many men had let him do this to them. Men he'd never met, didn't even know their names, didn't care to ever know their names... they let him fuck them like this. He had never had someone before Shion become so like... well, _him_... when fucking him. He'd never felt so vulnerable and opened up. He felt thoroughly used. 

Shion's thrusts became struggled. Nezumi hadn't even noticed his legs were no longer held firmly up, but instead his thighs has slid to be partially trapped awkwardly between their bodies. He felt like he was definitely slowly slipping to the floor, away from Shion's firm grip. 

“Open up for me, Nezumi” Shion requested sweetly, a question. Shion readjusted, pushed Nezumi against the wall again. Nezumi hooked his ankles around his back and clung firmly to his shoulders. It took some effort to help hold himself up, but the reward was well worth it. He gasped at the new depth and angle Shion could achieve like this, the earth-shattering stamina Shion now had with a little assistance. 

Nezumi held on for dear life as his scar scraped unpleasantly against the wall. He felt crazed, like all he needed ever again was Shion's cock brutally shoving into him. “Fuck me, Shion...” he breathed, his voice no longer his own. He had no control as he rutted his hips, gasping and panting. “Fuck me so hard it stays open.” Shion grunted, gripped him hard and thrust so good, so deep and rough that Nezumi had no time to feel shame over the way he went full porn star with his words. 

Shion found his prostate again and shortly after came, half-dropping Nezumi in the process. Nezumi caught himself with one leg as Shion slipped from him. He felt the bit of seed that found its way inside ooze out of him, down his thigh. 

Nezumi embraced the half-fall and dropped to his knees quickly, swallowing Shion's dick and the last bit of seed shooting out of it. Shion grabbed his hair and held him firmly against the wall, shaking and releasing into his mouth. When he finished, Nezumi swirled his tongue cruelly around him, then pulled off and looked up the length of Shion's body. 

What he saw knocked the breath out of him. 

Shion's hair was damp, dangling down around his face, framing him like a white lion. He was gazing with flushed cheeks, eyes half-lidded, his breath a series of fast bursts. He smiled down sweetly and softly, like he was looking down at a baby bird and not a man he just fucked stupid. There was no smugness in his expression, no secret uncertainty about his action. He looked like a man that had just found his inner peace. 

Nezumi climbed his way up Shion's body, took his face in his hands, and kissed him tenderly. His tongue dipped in to taste Shion's warm mouth. He was accepted. He allowed himself a small smile when Shion hummed into his mouth with nothing but contentment. 

Slowly, Nezumi pulled away, a trail of saliva temporarily stretched out between their tongues. They stood there for a moment, just gazing at each other and panting. 

Shion's legs, arms... his entire body was shaking intensely. Nezumi pulled him down to the floor, having no patience for the long, 5-step journey to the bed. He kissed snowy hair and smooth neck as his hands slid along Shion's naked flesh. His hands traveled with purpose, warming and soothing everywhere he quivered. Shion sighed into him and Nezumi absently noticed he was still hard and excited. It could wait, he thought, then marveled at the craziness of his own thought. He had never viewed arousal in quite that way before now. 

Shion shifted slightly, raised his head as though waking from a long slumber. He smiled again at Nezumi, very lazily, then got on his knees with his head ghosting over the dark curls between his legs. He touched Nezumi's knees, hinting them further apart, and took Nezumi into his mouth as far as he could go, covering the rest of the length with his fist. 

If one could ever describe a blowjob as romantic, then this was it. 

It was a soft, slow blow job. One Nezumi acknowledged somewhere in his brain was not enough for him, yet drove him fucking wild. Shion moaned on his dick. There was no shame in the sloppy wet noises he made and the visual was filthy hot. Nezumi's pleasure came in soft waves, rolling in and out like a gentle tide on a brackish water bay. Nezumi threaded his hand gently. There was no tugging, no hinting at fucking his mouth as he was usually so prone to hint. Just riding the waves, up and down, floating. 

Something about Shion's movement told him he was doing what he wanted, not what he thought Nezumi might like. No, this blowjob was for _Shion_ , and Nezumi was so aroused by that it fucking hurt. 

When Shion let out a lusty mewl on his cock and licked him fully, then looked up at him with tender eyes, Nezumi came in one of the hardest orgasms of his life. Shion pumped him softly with his fist. He heard Shion giggle and opened his eyes to Shion blushing, leaned slightly away from the last spray of his cock. There was a streak of seed on Shion's cheek. 

_God, that's fucking cute,_ Nezumi thought. 

Shion licked a bit of the semen from Nezumi's stomach, then gagged a little and did not continue. He absently took note how Shion decided that he was not, in fact, a cum eater. No problem. 

Nezumi carried him to the bed and held him. He held him for what could have been 2 minutes or 12 years-- it didn't matter. All that mattered was them, right there, right then. He tried his best to encompass his lover fully in his embrace, wanting to swallow him up completely. 

Nezumi confronted his feelings all at once then, Shion lightly breathing while asleep in his arms. 

_I hadn't realized what I treasured_ , Nezumi thought to himself, _until I allowed it to take me to pieces._

Surely this was more than just mind blowing sex. Everything about Shion was so much more than anything he had ever experienced in his life without him. Every minute, every word. Every tease, every touch. 

Shion slept softly in his arms, so defenseless, so fragile. Nezumi allowed himself a private blush as he remembered how very not fragile his little lover was spearing into him, how strong and confident he was moving his hard length in and out of Nezumi's tight entrance. Shion always put everything he was into everything he did. 

'I don't know how to love,' he had told Shion. He stared, stroked his hair softly so as not to wake him. It wasn't that he hadn't been trying to learn these past weeks. He had tried hard, but now he realized. All this time, it wasn't that he didn't know how to give love. 

Before now, he had just never allowed himself to receive it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. This is the end. Or it was supposed to be, but then I wrote another 5,000 words, including a whole additional smut scene. So you can expect that in the near future even though this is now marked as Complete.
> 
> 2\. I really hope you are enjoying/enjoyed so far!!


	13. Extra Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was posted as a separate story for like 1 day and then I was like? Why?
> 
> So now it's here.

“We're going out,” Nezumi informed him one morning. Shion was just rolling out of bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and observing light just barely starting to streak the very early morning sky.

“It's the first day of summer,” Shion added thoughtfully, glancing at his pile of clean laundry. Going out really wasn't a terrible idea. He loved their tiny little home, but it did get a bit stuffy. The sex was good, really good, no matter how they did it. But they definitely, definitely needed to get out more. “What should I wear?” Shion asked as he sorted through his clothes. He wanted to ask where they were going, but he knew better than to even try. There was no way Nezumi was going to tell him. He was for sure going to insist on being overly cryptic about the entire ordeal.

“Something comfortable. And a change of clothes in case you get too wet,” Nezumi looked at him with a wicked grin. Shion rolled his eyes. Knew it.

Nezumi appeared just a few minutes later with a simple breakfast-- some tea, bread, and jam-- and placed a packed bag down between them. Lunch, Shion assumed, then dug into his half of the quick morning snack. He was nowhere near finished when Nezumi inhaled his half and hurried him out the door. Apparently, this was time-sensitive.

There was a jeep outside. Empty. Just parked there. Shion wondered how on Earth Nezumi had coordinated something like this without him catching onto him. Nezumi hopped behind the driver's seat and honked furiously, staring at Shion with his head turned to the side quizzically.

Oh. He had just been standing there in contemplation. Oops.

Shion sighed and hopped into the passenger's seat. It was still early in the morning, the sun peeking up over the horizon. Shion wasn't sure how long they were in the car. Nezumi played some music, mostly calm and angelic, and Shion spent the hours in and out of sleep. Between dozes, it looked a lot to him like they were on their way to absolutely nothing, the most middle of nowhere he had ever been.

When the car stopped, the sun was well over their heads and he felt hunger creeping on. Shion sighed, dared to ask the question. “Where are we going?” Shion asked. “And why?”

They had arrived. They had arrived to nothing except for the sounds of birds and a long, thick line of trees. The road had dead ended. Nezumi ignored his question, grabbed his bag and slammed the driver's seat behind him. Shion scrambled after him as Nezumi made a beeline for the forest ahead.

As they got a little closer, Shion could see there was a path. It was incredibly grown over, the lush green brushing and surrounding them. He loved the smell of it, like being cocooned in the essence of the nature he knew Nezumi loved. There weren't many times in his life he had been so immersed in wilderness. The trail was not maintained. One could hardly even call it a trail-- more like an old path that was the result of a trail long lost to time and trees. Birds flirted and twittered through the branches, singing sweetly from their mossy bark perches. He closed his eyes, taking in the sound as green pines slid along his skin, soft down the length with hints of morning dew. Shion never knew such simple sensations could feel so calming, so comfortable--

“Is that an elephant stomping around or just an idiot,” Nezumi quipped. “You would make a lousy hunter.”

Shion felt his cheeks go hot. He stopped in his tracks, looked down at the path before him. It was covered in sticks, leaves... all kinds of noisy debris. It would have been impossible to not make any noise. Yet, Nezumi was managing just fine, gliding his was silently and swiftly through the trees. Shion had been too busy looking around him, gaping at the height of the trees and taking in the smell of the recently-rained-upon leaves and soil. He hadn't even noticed Nezumi was holding problematic branches out of the way for him every step of the way. What a gentleman.

“Keep moving,” Nezumi said flatly.

“Right,” Shion said quickly, brushing past the thorn bush being held for him. Nezumi's dark hair swept with his movements, every step and push of the trees around them like a graceful dance. Nezumi looked like magic in this environment, sculpting the forest to cocoon around him invitingly. There was no more path. They were just free-wandering at this point. Shion glanced behind himself, confirming nothing but trees on all sides. He marveled at how Nezumi was able to not get lost. He would stop occasionally, just a brief pause, then continue forward, almost like he was following something.

Then Shion noticed the soft crash in the distance. Waves. He could hear the waves of the ocean. He felt giddy with excitement.

As the trees thinned, the sounds drew closer. He could see ahead where the trees broke away, but could not yet make out what was on the other side. It was far too bright, the sun glinting in a blinding sparkle on what he could only assume was the ocean.

As Shion emerged, he was smacked by a strong breeze and the clean, salty smell of the ocean. The beach was small, dappled with coral rock and breaks of small, sandy patches. A small fish flicked from a tidal pool, red and yellow capturing the sunlight.

“This way,” Nezumi clipped, but when Shion looked at him, there was nothing on his face but pure bliss. He was smiling, staring off into the distance, seemingly in his element.

With Nezumi's help, Shion climbed his way up some rocks that formed a huge, sloppy staircase. At the top was a small, one-room cabin. Nezumi pushed the door open. Shion coughed from the sworl of dust. 

It was a practical space. A bed and a table made up for all of the furnishings. Nezumi immediately started to wipe the mattress-- plastic coated, made for a cabin-- then took a small sheet out of the bag he brought with them and spread it over.

Shion was absolutely beaming. He felt honored and very surprised that Nezumi had been this thoughtful, had thought this far ahead and planned a proper get-away for them.

Nezumi approached him, his cold gray eyes swirling with something mischievous. “No lights, no kitchen, you piss in the woods,” Nezumi said, then stopped just inches from his face. “Surprise,” he breathed, his lips close enough for Shion to feel his breath.

Shion threw his arms around him and squeezed as tightly as he could. Nezumi's arms came up around in return. They stood that way for a couple of minutes, just taking in the warmth.

Nezumi chattered about the smell of the ocean, the call of the gulls, and the gait of the crabs along the rocks. He was rambling on and on and on as they chose the most comfortable spot on the rocks, overlooking the beach by just 10 feet or so. The tide was out. Nezumi smiled at Shion, the purest smile, and pulled two sandwiches from his bag. They ate their lunch in silence, staring out at the ocean and brushing gently against each other. The waves crashed on the rocks with force, drops breaking apart to scatter through the air before blending back in with the crowded current.

Nezumi finished his first, of course. He was always eating like it might disappear at any moment. He laced his fingers with Shion's free hand, then pointed out at the horizon. “Look,” he said, trying to line himself up with Shion's line of sight.

“What?” Shion said, moving his head sporadically to try to catch a glimpse of whatever Nezumi was seeing. A thrill spread through him. What could it be?

“Look! There it is again!” Nezumi said with urgency, then grinned.

“Where?” Shion was frantic. He took the last bite of his sandwich to be rid of the inconvenience. “What is it?” he asked, words muffled through a mouth full of food.

Nezumi grabbed his other hand and pushed him onto the rock, pinning his hands above his head. Shion swallowed his food quickly, suddenly very afraid of choking. The rock was mostly flat, not entirely uncomfortable, but also still very much felt like laying on a rock. “You squirming around like an idiot looking for something that isn't there,” he snarled, then pressed his body down onto him. His lips were gentle and soft, sliding against his slowly. Shion followed his lead and moaned under him, his lips gently closing against his lover's. Their lips smacked softly under the sound of their sweet breaths.

Nezumi released his hands and he immediately wrapped his arms around him, covering himself with his lover. Everything became darker for a moment as the clouds tucked away the sun. Big, dark cotton in the sky threatened rain.

Nezumi stroked Shion's cheek with his thumb and gazed at him for what felt like a long time. The touch was tender and Shion leaned into it. He felt one drop of water land on his cheek just below Nezumi's caress.

“It's about to rain,” Shion said nervously, uncomfortable under Nezumi's unrelenting stare.

“Perfect. I hope it's a hard one,” Nezumi said. He paused again, just staring at him. What was he thinking? Shion wished, time and time again, that he could get inside of that complicated head. The wind was growing harsher, crouched on the cabin rooftop, waiting to silky swirl around them through a curtain of rain. “Today is the day we met,” the corner of Nezumi's mouth crooked up in a small smile.

Shion pondered. The day they had met, that rainy day, when Nezumi came bursting into his room and life with reckless energy. 

Nezumi remembered the day? The exact day?

More raindrops were falling now. Nezumi had started stroking his collar bone gently, just feathering with the pad of his finger. It seemed like he was contemplating something, deeply considering.

“May I hold you?”

Shion smiled brightly. All the tension in his body dissipated. “Yes,” he answered, then buried his hands in Nezumi's hair and pulled him down for another kiss. The rain was cool, but not too cold to be unbearable. “Should we go inside...?” Shion asked breathlessly.

“No,” Nezumi said firmly. “I brought you all the way to the beach, I want to fuck you on the beach.” He pulled a small bottle of lube from his pocket. 

Shion shivered despite the warmth spreading all through his body, pooling in his groin. Nezumi was a man of firm decision. A forward thinker. An elegant beauty moving gracefully on the stage of his life.

Nezumi slid off his pants, revealing his uncircumcised cock. Shion could never get tired of that moment of reveal. That slight curve of his length. It looked firm and strong, and each time, he wondered how stuffing that inside his ass could possibly feel so good.

Nezumi motioned under Shion, asking with his eyes, _Where do you need them?_ Shion removed his own shorts and boxers, then settled all of the items down onto spots where the rock dug into his back. He gazed up at Nezumi, still wearing a shirt, but his cock rock hard and bobbing. The rain drops were steadily covering them every second. The little splashes on Nezumi's skin glimmered like the ocean rolling behind him, still bright where the clouds couldn't cover the sun's rays.

Then Nezumi's lips pushed softly against his. Nezumi's tongue thrust into him, licked him out, and thrust again. Shion licked back helplessly. This wasn't kissing or even making out. Nezumi was giving him the best tongue fucking of his life.

Shion's skin was hot, punctuated by the raindrops. Nezumi slid a slick finger into him, then two. Shion sighed and wiggled his hips as Nezumi fucked him with his fingers and tongue. He craved the feeling of any part of Nezumi sliding in and out of him, reveled in every opportunity he had to feel his ass muscles stretch and relax again and again around something long and hard. Nezumi's gaze burned into him as he watched.

Nezumi shivered a little as he slid his thick cock slowly, inch by agonizing inch, inside. The rain was hard, blurring the world around them. Nezumi's hair was sticking, rain cascading down the contours of his face as he kissed him. Shion could feel the rain pooling under and around them in small puddles, filling every dip of the rock and soaking his clothes. They were drenched and shivering. 

“You take me so beautifully,” Nezumi breathed. Shion gasped as Nezumi took his cock in his hand and fisted him up and down, the rain water creating an agonizing slickness as he slipped over him with ease.

Nezumi speared him softly as the rain pelted them. Shion felt like he was in a hazy dream. They rolled against each other gently like the waves crashing near them. Shion felt their breaths mold with he waves, their skin submerged in the rivulets dripping down their aching muscles. It felt like swimming, like being embraced by the ocean current as they fucked. The clouds opened over them, releasing a torrential downpour. Shion was hot and shivering and panting, but he couldn't stop. Nezumi kissed him furiously, water pooling between their lips and blinding them until the only thing Shion could focus on was the hot heat pressing into him, pulling out, then pressing into him again.

Nezumi snarled deep in his throat and pounded into him. Shion's hand traveled under Nezumi's shirt, his muscles rolled hot and hard under Shion's soft hands, threading through cold water. Shion could feel the rain's assault on his hands. Nezumi's back was taking the brunt of the storm. Nezumi shivered again and reached under him. Shion's squeal was lost in the rain as Nezumi grabbed two handfuls of ass. He lifted his hips and Nezumi growled as he held him, pounding into him breathlessly, making love like drowning in the rain and each other.

Shion covered Nezumi's face from the rain and looked up. His eyes seemed to capture all of the light around them in the darkness of the rain storm. Shion was certain that this was precisely where he was supposed to be-- with him, getting fucked in the open ocean air.

Nezumi finished within him, shivering and shaking and he gripped his ass hard enough to leave bruises. Shion, on the other hand, didn't finish. He heard thunder in the distance. He wondered how they were going to go about this.

Lightning whipped across the sky, illuminating them briefly. “Your turn,” Nezumi whispered tiredly into Shion's ear.

Shion arranged the clothing under and around him and sat up. Nezumi followed suit, straddled himself over him, knees resting on the loose clothing. Shion used the lube and prepped Nezumi hastily, then sank into him. Nezumi settled firmly in his lap, spread open and completely filled. “You're so tight,” Shion sighed into his shoulder. “Every time.”

“Not my fault you're thick as a soda can,” Nezumi gritted his teeth, licked his neck. Shion pulled back, then ripped Nezumi's hair from it's tie. His dark, soaked hair pooled all around him, cascading down on his shoulders with a heavy thud. Shion gently wiggled himself within his lover, then gasped when Nezumi leaned back. He held himself up with his hands and planted his feet firmly at Shion's sides. Then, slowly, Nezumi rocked himself on Shion's length.

“Ahhhhh,” Nezumi sighed loudly, wide-mouthed and shameless. Nezumi had become a noisy lover. He was open during their love making, unafraid of showing how much he loved to take Shion's cock. “Yes! Right there! That feels so good, Shion... Goddamn...” he keened, sliding on Shion's length.

“Nezumi,” Shion groaned. “So tight...” Shion was shaking, over stimulated by the view and sensations before him. The way he disappeared inside Nezumi's intimate entrance again and again, his lover's mewls and gasps loud around them, his cock bobbing half-hard and overstimulated above his gaping ass...

Shion ran his hands down Nezumi's chest, abs, arms. The rain had let up a little, just a soft shower now, the thunder rolling far off in the distance. He used all of the water left to slick his fingers along Nezumi's hard muscles, the position causing every muscle in his body to tense with his strength. The visual was so good, too good, that it wasn't long before Shion grabbed Nezumi by the hips and buried himself inside, coming hard.

Nezumi collapsed into Shion's lap, his arms wrapped around him as he caught his breath. “I don't know why it took so much for me to come back here,” Nezumi said into Shion's shoulder, then kissed his nape with tongue and teeth.

“To the beach?” Shion asked. Nezumi chuckled into his shoulder, then pressed their foreheads together. Shion was never going to get tired of losing himself in those eyes, especially when Nezumi was like this, his face open and vulnerable like there was something to be afraid of, like he was fragile and could crumble to pieces at any moment. 

They kissed softly before heading inside to dry off, then returned to the beach for a fire-cooked dinner.

Shion's chest poured open as he gazed at Nezumi, the campfire reflecting in his eyes as he stared blankly. The sky had cleared, curtains drawn away to reveal a myriad of stars twinkling in the night sky. He stared with wonder, marveled at how many stars you could see this far from the city. He tried to really appreciate them, to gaze until he forgot everything except the expanse before him, the endless galaxies, the unfathomable size and spread of the universe. He tried to not just stare at his lover from across the flames.

“Happy anniversary,” Nezumi's voice was husky in his ear as they laid together on the sand that night. It wasn't until he was lying in Nezumi's arms, the fire now just two glowing coals, that he could appreciate the canvas above them.

**Author's Note:**

> There will be more extras.


End file.
